left in thinking, i told myself—i am not supposed to feel this way. the sensation that tickles me from within is unfamiliar yet something i am aware of. rushing blood out of annoyance and sudden burst of excitement becomes often. external appearance is my forte. i perhaps excel at disallowing any emotion to surface. that doesn’t change though the wilderness inside of me. i am not supposed to feel this way. not after all i have uttered, not after all that happened.
yet i feel it anyway.
