The Mistake

The Mistake

This is a work of fiction. Names, places and events are fictitious, unless otherwise stated. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events are purely coincidental.

No part of this story may be reproduced, distribute or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems without permission from the author, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

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All rights reserved.

      2017

 

CHAPTER ONE

NAGISING si Gray nang masakit ang ulo. Napahawak siya sa sentido na matindi ang pagkirot. Hang over na naman dahil sa sobrang inom niyang alak kagabi.

  Napabuntong hininga siya nang ang unang pumasok sa isip niya ay si Chaisee—ang babaeng mahal na mahal niya pero mahal ang nakababatang kapatid niya. Buong akala niya ay hindi na ito papasok pa sa isip niya ngayong pagkagising niya dahil sa hang over pero ito pa rin pala ang unang pumasok sa isip niya. Muli siyang napabuntong-hininga.

  Paano ka ba mawawala sa puso't isip ko? Tanong niya sa isip.

  Akmang tatayo na mula sa pagkakaupo sa kama si Gray nang makitang hubo siya at tanging ang kumot lang ang tumatakip sa kaniyang katawan. Mabilis niyang iginala ang tingin sa loob ng kwarto para lamang makita na magulo ito dahil sa mga kalat niyang gamit at damit.

  Inalala ni Gray kung anong nangyari kagabi. Una'y wala talaga siyang maalala ngunit unti-unti ay may pumasok na sa isip niya. Ang natatandaan niya'y pumunta siya sa isang bar na madalas niyang puntahan. Uminom siya ng uminom. Naroon lang siya sa counter siya. May ilang mga babaeng lumalapit sakanya pero wala siyang pinansin. Tapos.. Tapos.. wala na.

  Naiinis na pinukpok ni Gray ang sariling ulo. Matapos 'yon ay wala na siyang maalala. Hindi naman kasi talaga siya mahilig at sanay sa alak kaya't ganoon na lamang ang pagkalasing niya. He's workaholic, not alcoholic. At ngayon nga ay nagsa-suffer siya mula sa hang over at nagkaroon ng instant amnesia.

  "Badtrip. Naghubad ba talaga ako kagabi? Hindi na talaga ako maglalasing. Bukod sa masakit sa ulo ay kung anu-ano pa ang ginagawa ko." Aniya sa sarili.

  Tumayo na ang binata at isa-isang pinulot ang mga damit niyang nagkalat. Isinuot niya na rin iyon. Hindi na rin siya nag-abalang ligpitin ang at inuna ang breakfast. Pero habang kumakain ay pilit pa rin niyang inaalala ang nangyari kagabi ang nalimutan niya. Nasa kalagitnaan siya ng pagkain nang tumunog ang phone niya. Napilitan siyang tumayo at pumunta sa kuwarto upang sagutin ang tawag na mula sa numero ng bunso niyang kapatid na si Violet. He didn't decline the call like what he recently do. His only sister is always an exception.

  "Hello?"

  [Gray? Gray. Dude! Ba't di ka umuwi kagabi? You knew we had a celebra--]

  Ibinaba na ni Gray ang tawag di pa man tapos magsalita ang nasa kabilang linya. What? Celebration? A celebration for my newly crashed heart? He wanna smirk at the thought. It wasn't his sister. It was Blue—the main reason why he didn't come home last night. Ayaw niya munang makita ang kapatid. Hindi niya sigurado kung makokontrol ba niya ang nararamdaman. He just don't want to break down at that marriage celebration. Tama na 'yung umattend siya ng kasal.

  And hell, paano nga ba niya haharapin ang taong dahilan kung bakit hindi siya ni minsan nagustuhan ng babaeng ilang taon na niyang mahal? Paano niya haharapin ang karibal—wait, Blue Katsuwara was never his rival. But Gray see him as one. At kagabi, nang tuluyang ikasal ang dalawa, para kay Gray ay natalo na siya sa labang hindi man lang niya nagawang lumaban dahil simula't sapul, alam nilang si Blue na ang gusto nito. The least thing Gray wanted that time was to see his brother.

  Pagkaend ng call, itinapon iyon ni Gray nang basta basta sa magulo niyang kama. Tatalikod na sana siya nang mahagip ng kaniyang mata ang kulay pulang parte ng puting-puti niyang kama na bahagyang natatakpan ng magulong kumot.

  Bagaman nagkakutob na si Gray kung ano iyon ngunit minabuti niyang lapitan pa rin ito saka hinawi ang kumot para masigurado kung tama ba ang hinala. And he was right. It was a blood. May dugo sa bedsheet niya...

  At nang sandaling iyon ay nagflashback sa isip niya ang buong kaganapan kagabi.

  Umiinom siya. Hindi niya pinapansin ang sinumang babaeng lumalapit sakaniya anuman ang dahilan ng mga ito. He was focused with the glass of hard alcoholic drink on his table. All of sudden, dumating ang isang babae—in a six pocket short, loose tribal shirt and rubber shoes. Ibinagsak nito ang dalawang kamay sa lamesang inookupa niya. It was Charmaine Laustsen, his best friend,

  "What do you think are you doing, Gray?!"

  Pinipigilan siya nitong uminom. But he did not even give her a word nor a glance. However, the lady was persistent to stop him and she succeeded by telling him she'd dance with pervert guys on the dance floor.

  Charmaine was the one who drove his car to drive him back to the reception hall. She was scolding him on their way but she suddenly became quiet when he told him to bring him in his condo rather than their home because he cannot bear the pain just yet. Charmaine listened to him and to his feelings he was bursting out until they entered the condominium building.

  Napapikit ng mariin si Gray at malakas na sinuntok ang kama. Parang noon palang ay gusto na niyang iuntog ang sarili para tumigil ang mga alaalang pumapasok sa isip niya nang mga oras na 'yon. Hindi pa man tapos pero mayroon nang pumapasok sa isip niya base sa nakikita niya ngayon at ayaw niya ng ideyang iyon!

  "Bullshit!" He yelled. "You're an asshole, Gray Katsuwara!"

  Buong lakas niyang muling sinuntok ang kama. Ayaw niya ng naiisip niya pero iyon ang pinakaposibleng nangyari ayon sa nasa bedsheet niya. Gusto niyang pigilin angpagbalik ng mga alaala pero kusa iyong bumabalik sakaniya.

  "Si Chaisee na naman 'no?" Panimula ni Charmaine matapos siya nitong alalayang maupo.

  "Tss. Why did you pick me up there anyway, Charm?" sisinok-sinok na sabi ni Gray ngunit wala siyang natanggap na sagot mula sa babae. Tiningnan lang siya nito na parang naaawa, nalulungkot at nasasaktan. "Don't look at me like that, Charmaine." Ani Gray sa tonong nagbabanta.

  Malalim na bumuntong-hininga si Charmaine. "Ang swerte naman ni Chaisee 'no?" Sabi nito na pinatutungkulan ang babaeng dahilan ng paglalasing ng kaibigan niya. "Like.. he had two guys loving him unconditionally." She looked at him. "Especially you." And she smiled bitterly.

  Sinagot lamang siya ni Gray ng isang kunot-noo. He has this uninterested look pinned on her but he was having a hunch. A hunch he never wished for. But looking at Charmaine right now, that hunch is no impossible. Napalitan ng pag-aalala ang mukha ng binata nang biglang may tumulong luha sa mata ni Charmaine.

  "She should have choose you." She forced a laugh. "Would you let me beat her for dumping a guy I always wished to have?"

  Doon natigilan si Gray. Napaawang ang labi niya. He isn't dumb to don't get what she was saying—what she was feeling.

  "Goddammit!" Buong lakas na sinuntok ni Gray ang pader ng kuwarto niya.

  Sunud-sunod na pumasok sa isip niya ang buong usapan nila ni Charmaine. She confessed and then.. and then he hallucinated that she was Chaisee...

  Dahan-dahang napaatras si Gray palayo sa kama nang tila ba isang pelikulang ipinapanood sakaniya ang buong pangyayari ditto sa kuwarto niya. Specifically, sa kama niya.

  "Stop! Please, stop!" Sigaw niya na para bang kusang titigil ang nakikita niya. Atras siya ng atras hanggang sa may matamaan siya at tuluyang bumagsak paupo sa sahig. Napasabunot siya sa sariling buhok. He kept on cursing himself. He was totally frustrated.

  Of all people, he was the closest one to Charmaine. She knew him very well and so does he. At alam na alam din ni Gray kung gaano kahalaga sa dalaga ang bagay na 'yon. Isang bagay na kinuha na lamang niyang bigla sa panahong mahina ito at wala siya sa tamang wisyo.

  Mariin siyang napapikit nang maalala ang nasasaktan nitong ekspresyon nang tawagin niyang Chaisee. He was a total jerk.

  Mula sa kinauupuan ay natanaw ni Gray ang bumagsak na gamit kanina. It was a picture frame with photos grid into four. Litrato nilang dalawa iyon na may limang taong mga pagitan. When they were eight years old wearing their soccer uniform, when they were thirteen, when they were eighteen and the fourth photo was taken just last month—his twenty-third's birthday. Twenty two palang sa picture si Charmaine dahil mas matanda si Gray ng tatlong buwan dito.

  Sa ilang minutong pagtitig ni Gray sa litrato nila ay napakaraming tanong ang pumasok sa isip niya. Natakot siya. What will happen? Will their friendship end? Will he.. will he lose her? Gusto niyang saktan ang sarili. Iyong sakit na mag-aagaw buhay siya. Iyong sakit na magpapawala sa isip niya ng sitwasyong ito ngayon. Bakit nga ba kasi pag-iinom pa ang naisip niya? Bakit hinayaan pa niyang si Charmaine ang maghatid sakaniya? Bakit naghallucinate pa siya? Ang daming tanong sa isip ni Gray.

  Sa pagkakaupo ni Gray ay napayuko siya at napahawak sa batok ang kanang kamay habang ang kabila ay nakapatong sa kaliwa niyang tuhod. Isang patak ng luha ang tumulo mula sa kaniyang mata. Ang patak na 'yon ay naghudyat para magsunud-sunod ang pagbagsak ng iba pa, binabasa ang sahig.

  Napakaimportante ng friendship nila ni Charmaine. At lalo namang napakaimportante ng isang Charmaine Laustsen para sa isang Gray Katsuwara. Ito lang naman ang nag-iisang naging kaibigan ni Gray maliban sa mga kapatid. Ito lang ang nag-iisang taong kabisado siya. Sakaniya lamang naipapakita ni Gray ang ibang side niya na maging sa kaniyang mga kapatid ay hindi niya maipakita. Damn! Bakit niya itinapon ang eighteen years sa isang gabi? Paano niya nagawang sirain ang labing walong taon ng pinagsamahan nila nang dahil lang sa hallucination?

  Biglang nagvibrate ang phone niya. Umilaw ito. Pero hindi ang caller ang pumukaw ng atensyon ng binata kundi ang kaniyang lock screen display. Picture iyon ni Charmaine seven years ago noong umiiyak ito nang dahil sa natalo niya ito sa playstation. Kung dati ay napapatawa siya tuwing nakikita ito, ngayon ay ni hindi man lang siya mapangiti.

  Paano at bakit ba niya pinaiyak ang isang babaeng ni minsan ay hindi niya nakitang masasaktan niya ng ganito? Napabuntong hininga siya. Si Charmaine. Would she be able to forgive me? I bet she's crying right now...

  Dali-dali siyang napatayo at nagsuot lang ng gray sweater saka hinablot ang susi ng kaniyang motor na nasa bed side table niya. Nagmamadaling lumabas siya ng condominium na iyon at sakay ng motor ay pinaharurot niya ito patungo sa bahay kung saan nakatira ang best friend niya.

  He didn't give a damn about the traffic and police. At that moment, he has only one goal in mind—to reach his destination. His heart was pounding so damn fast during the ride with his mind filled with negative conclusions. He can't help but curse and blame himself. Hindi niya yata maaatim na mawala sakaniya si Charmaine. Heaven knows her worth for him. Damn!

~*~

  GRAY found Charmaine at the corner of her room. Nakatiklop at yakap nito ang dalawang tuhod habang nakayuko at humihikbi. Marahan at tila ba walang lakas na napabitaw sa knob ng pinto ng kwarto si Gray habang nakatuon kay Charmaine ang paningin. Sa isang iglap, naging mahirap ang paghinga para sakaniya. Ramdam ng binata ang pagsikip ng kaniyang dibdib. It was like as if his heart was being tear apart. Para siyang mauubusan ng hininga just by watching the woman cry. God, he badly want to punch himself so hard for being a real dumbass but he was extremely weak at the moment.

  How I wish your tears were just because of a play station again..

  Nilapitan ni Gray si Charmaine. Naghalf bend knee siya sa harap ng nakayukong dalaga saka niya marahang iginilid ang buhok nito na basa ng luha at siyang tumatakip sa maamo nitong mukha. Walang salitang lumalabas sa bibig niya. Hindi alam ang dapat sabihin o kung may sapat bang salitang makapagpapagaan man lang ng nararamdaman ng kaibigan. He was just completely hurt.

  Dahan-dahan namang inangat ni Charmaine ang tingin para makita si Gray. Masyadong mabigat ang kaniyang loob para mapansing may tao pala sa kaniyang harapan.

  Sa pagtatama ng kanilang paningin, nagbalik pareho sa kanilang alaala ang pagkakamaling nangyari sa pagitan nila. Mas bumuhos ang luha ni Charmaine at pinipigilan naman ni Gray ang sakaniya. Walang nagsasalita at tanging mahihinang hikbi lamang ni Charmaine ang maririnig sa buong silid. Walang nagtangkang bumasag ng yelo sa pagitan nila pero ang kanilang mga mata ay may malinaw na ipinapakita. Nakakatawa. Dahil hindi nila kayang magsalita ay para bang ang mga mata nalang nila ang nagpasyang mag-usap.

  Pareho silang takot.

  Pareho silang nagsisisi.

  Pareho silang nasasaktan...

  "Charmaine.." halos pabulong na tawag ni Gray.

  Napapailing na napayuko si Charmaine. Sa totoo lang ay sinisisi rin niya ang sarili sa nangyari. Kung sana hindi siya nakipag-inuman kay Gray para mapilit itong umuwi. Na sana hindi siya nalunod sa ambiance last night. Sana walang nangyaring gano'n. She valued her virginity. Sex is such a sacred thing for her. That it should be only done by two persons tied by a marriage. Maybe if she and Gray were a couple, maybe if they love each other, maybe it was not as painful as this.

  Inangat ni Gray ang ulo ni Charmaine sa pamamagitan ng paghawak sa magkabilang pisngi nito. They looked at each other. Ang sakit nito para kay Gray lalo pa't siya ang tingin niyang puno't dulo nito. How he wish he can bring back the time and make things right.

  "I'm sorry..." tanging nasabi niya saka pinagdikit ang noo nila ng kaibigan. "I-I'm sorry.. I'm really sorry, Charm.." he whispered with full of regret, sorrow and respect but Charmaine lower down her gaze and that was as if a knife that had been stabbed on the lad's chest. "Please d-don't look away, Charm.." halos pabulong na saad ni Gray. Natatakot siyang baka lalong magcrack ang boses niya kaya't ipinasya na lamang niyang hinaan ang boses, sapat upang marinig ng kausap.

  Umiling-iling si Charm upang ipahayag na hindi niya alam ang gagawin o sasabihin. This is just too painful. Too painful for the both of them who knew each other for so long and had been broken in just a single night.

  Hinapit ni Gray si Charmaine saka ito ikinulong sakaniyang bisig. Somehow, he hopes that a single hug would at least ease the pain she was feeling. He respect her so damn much and he hates himself for this jerk thing. Hinalikan ni Gray si Charmaine sa noo to show his respect, to tell that he didn't mean the shit that happened just last night, to say sorry for that mistake. And at that position, his tears inevitably fell once again. He don't want to show her his vulnerability right now. Not now that she was also hurt. But his emotion was just too strong to keep in silence.

  "Forgive me.. I-I'm really sorry.. Please, forgive me.." He kept on saying the same line but he got no response. "If.. If something happens.. I swear, I'm not gonna run away. I'll take all the responsibility. I'll face the consequence, Charm. Just please.. f-forgive me. Just please, Charm..."

  Charmaine pushed the guy slightly. "G-Gray.."

  Their gaze met. Regret was drawn in their eyes. Their tears indicate the pain. They are both afraid. They both want to save the friendship they had. But in this situation? No one can say it is still possible to bring back their relationship.

  "Please.." Charmaine sniffed. Gray waited. "P-Please leave."

  The lad has been stiffened. Punung-puno ng sakit ang pagkakasabi nito. Her words were like arrows that have been shot on Gray. Two words meant like she can never forgive him anymore.

  Nang hindi makasagot si Gray dahil sa pagkakatulala ay tuluyang kumawala sa bisig niya ang dalaga saka ito tumayo at pinunasan ang luha. "I-I.. You.." She heaved a sigh. She doesn't know what the appropriate words are. "Just.. Just leave for now, Gray." Namamaos pa ang boses nito marahil dahil sa pag-iyak. Inangat ni Gray ang tingin sa dalaga. She sounded so firm. "Please."

  Masakit ma'y walang nagawa si Gray kundi ang sundin ito. Tulala at hilam sa luha ang mga matang nilisan niya ang tahanan ng dalaga.

CHAPTER TWO

DAYS PASSED. Things get worse.

  Gray let out one heavy sigh that caught his siblings' attention. Tiningnan nilang lahat ang binata na tutok ang mata sa telebisyon gayong hindi naman ito mukhang nanonood.

  Napansin ni Gray na nasa kaniya ang tingin ng lima niyang kapatid. Si Neon at Red na naglalaro ng play station ay tumigil para tingnan siya. Ganoon din si Blue na akmang magsusuot ng damit. Ang papaakyat sanang si Violet ay huminto para lingunin siya at maging ang madalas ay walang pakialam niyang kakambal na si Silver ay ibinaba ang hawak nitong diyaryo. It was like as if the time stopped. Gray eye brow knotted together and gave them his usual irritated look and uttered, "What?"

  Ang bunsong Katsuwara ang nagpasyang basagin ang katahimikan. "Pagkatapos ng ilang araw na pagkukulong sa office room mo dito ay may balak ka pa palang lumabas, Kuya."

  "Tsh." His only response and looked away.

  Si Neon naman ang nagsalita. "Seriously, what's up with you, Gray?"

  Gray shook his head to answer him no. Everyone except him let out a sigh in unison. Pagkatapos ng araw ng kasal nina Blue at Chaisee, napansin nila na hindi na napasok sa opisina si Gray. He locked himself up in his office room in that mansion, not allowing anyone to talk to him. He let out by only one reason--to check her. Ito ang unang beses na lumabas ito mula sa sariling pagseseklusyon. Everyone thinks it was still because of Chaisee and his brother's wedding. Little did they know, it was because of someone else.

  Alam ni Gray na gano'n ang iniisip niya at nais niya 'yong klaruhin. "It was not because of Chai, okay?"

  Katsuwaras gave him a skeptical look. He, again, sighed. "Really, people. It was because of... someone else." He almost whisper the last words as the pain stroke him again.

  "Dude." Silver talked with his usual disinterested look and bored tone. "You look horrible. Terribly horrible." Gray frowned at his words.

  "If it's not ate Chaisee, who would it be?" Pang uusisa ni Violet. Tiningnan lang siya ng madalas nitong supladong tingin. Pinasingkit naman lalo ni Violet ang singkit na niyang mga mata. "Hindi ako naniniwalang hindi 'yan dahil kay ate Chai." Kinunutan lang siya ng noo ni Gray.

  "Bro. With that messy hair, haggard look and rotten clothes. And oh, pair of eyebag which makes us think you didn't sleep for days, you'd still say it wasn't because of that girl? And if you don't know, it's been two weeks since the last time we saw you because you locked yourself up in your room. I don't even know how you managed to do not take a bath. You don't have to deny that your heart is terribly, horribly, extremely crashed—oops, wait, gone too far." Dire-diretsong sabi ni Neon nang nananatili pa rin sa diyaryo ang tingin.

  "What the hell?" Iyon lang ang naibulalas ni Gray. Am I that screwed up?

  "Hopeless." Pailing-iling na sabi ni Red habang naglalaro.

  "I said, it's not because of her." Mariin niyang sabi.

  "Eh di sino?" Maangas at tonong nanghahamong tanong ni Violet.

  "Basta hindi siya. Alright?"

  Neon chuckled. "The taciturn guy's shy."

  Mas lalo lang nangunot ang noo ni Gray at tuluyan na ngang naubos ang pasensiya nito nang magtawanan ang lahat. "Drop it! It was because of Charm. Satisfied, people?!"

  Silence. Silence filled the room.

  "Si ate Maine? Bakit?" Si Violet ang unang nagreact.

  "Can't believe though. Mukha siyang mas tripleng brokenhearted kumpara no'ng maging si Blue at Chai eh." Bulong ni Neon na narinig naman ni Gray.

  Gray snorted and stood up. "Tsh. I'd rather take a shower than have a chitchat with you."

  "Alelujah! After two weeks--!" Naputol ang sasabihin ni Red nang batuhin siya ng unan ni Gray na nadampot nito sa kung saan.

  "Shut up. Just because I don't go out of that fucking room already means I don't take a bath. I have my personal shower room for heaven's sake." I just really looked terrible.

  Gaya nga ng sabi nito ay naligo siya sa shower room na nasa loob ng kuwarto niya. Every room in Katsuwara mansion has its own mini kitchen, rest room, mini living room and another room—more like a small condo unit. Paanong hindi iyon magiging possible kung ang kumpanya nila ay ukol sa modern technologies. Their business is one of the most famous worldwide. Their main branch was located in Tokyo, Japan since their ancestors were pure Japanese.

  Pagkatapos magbihis ni Gray ay phone niya agad ang kaniyang unang kinuha. He tried to dial Charmaine's phone number like his usual routine within two weeks of being locked up. And as usual, only an operator answered. He tried to call Charmaine's residential telephone number but it was only ringing. Lastly, he called her secretary only to know that she wasn't in her office.

  Gray hopelessly threw his phone somewhere. Nagpatihulog nalang siya padapa sa kama. He didn't bother combing his hair or buttoning his sleeves. What for? He feels so damn empty. He feel useless, worthless, jerk. He feel so lifeless.

  Two weeks. It's been two long weeks for him. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin sila nagkikita o nagkakausap man lang ni Charmaine and it frustrates him so much. It worry him a lot. It makes him functionless. He sighed. Ni hindi niya magawang pumasok ng trabaho although nagtatrabaho siya sa loob ng mansion through his laptop. Hindi niya magawang ayusin ang sarili. Walang ganang kumain. Sa loob ng dalawang lingo ay naroon lang siya. Parang orasang naubusan ng baterya. Hindi gumagana. Iisa at iisa lang naman ang iniisip pero hindi matapos-tapos.

  Hindi naman siya ganito kalalang na-frustrate at naapektuhan noon kay Chaisee. Ewan ba niya. Bakit nga ba ganito nalang ang sakit na nararamdaman niya? Bakit parang mas sobra pa ang sakit na nararamdaman niya isipin lang na mawawala si Charmaine sakaniya. Siguro ay dahil nakasama niya na ito buong buhay niya.

  Sinubukan niyang puntahan si Charmaine sa bahay nito pero wala ito roon at sarado ang bahay. Pag sa mismong opisina nito siya pumupunta, it's either hindi raw ito pumasok o may meeting ito—bagay na hindi niya alam kung dapat bang paniwalaan. One thing is for sure, she was avoiding him.

  Napabuntong-hininga na lamang ang binata.

~*~

KINABUKASAN, pinuntahan ni Gray ang kuwarto ng bunsong kapatid kung nasaan ito. Naabutan niyang nasa harap ito ng computer pero dali-dali naman siyang hinarap in a way na matatakpan nito ang screen. And the strange thing was, she was blushing.

  "K-Kuya Gray. Bakit?"

  Gray chuckled at his blushing sister. A chuckle that did not even reach his eyes. "I'd ask few things so.." bahagyang sinilip ni Gray ang screen ng computer ni Violet pero gumilid din ito na parang tinatakpan ang anumang maari niyang makita. "Log out from that Facebook thing."

  Violet frowned. "What the—"

  "What the what?" Gray cut her with a threatening glare.

  "E-Err.." Napakamot ito ng ulo. "Go ahead and ask."

  Para namang batang napangiti si Gray. Nagpabagsak ito sa kama ng kapatid at nakangiting tumitig sa ceiling. Isang malungkot na ngiti na waring may iniisip na sa kisame lang makikita.

  "What's the biggest mistake a guy can do to a girl, Lily?"

  Napamaang naman si Violet sa kuya niya. Saang lupalop naman ng mundo nito nakuha ang tanong? Ilang segundo pa ang lumipas at saka nagtanong si Violet. "Ba't mo naman natanong kuya?"

  "Just answer me, kid." Ani Gray na may malungkot na munting ngiti pa rin sa labi.

Tumingin naman sa kung saan si Violet na waring nag-iisip. "Ahm.. siguro pag niloko siya in terms of romantic relationship. Pero sa point of view ko, kapag nasaktan siguro 'yung mga taong mahalaga sa 'kin?"

  Nilingon ni Gray si Violet. "What if.. you had, uh, how am I going to say this?" Napahimas si Gray sa ulo. "What if.. you accidentally gave your... uh, your... virginity? And it happened because you love the guy but the guy loves someone else. Ah yes. You gave up that thing because you thought you were the one he was looking at but then, you realized, he was just hallucinating.."

  A long silence between them until Violet's jaw dropped. Tinakpan niya ang bibig at hindi makapaniwalang tiningnan niya ang kapatid. "D-Don't tell me, ikaw 'yon at si.. at si ate Charmaine?!" Naalala niya kasing sinabi ng kuya niya na si Charmaine ang dahilan ng pagiging ganoon niya at hindi si Chaisee.

  Ginulo ni Gray ang sariling buhok. "Yeah, you're not slowpoke, alright." He murmured and finally said, "Yes." With bored eyes and flat tone but there was still a glimpse of pain into his eyes. He was just too good to maintain his composure.

  Parang nablangko naman si Violet saka napaupo sa swivel chair na nasa tapat ng computer. Ilang sandali pa ang lumipas bago siya napasapo ng noo. "Geez! T-That's... that's probably the worst!"

  Ang blangkong ekspresyon ni Gray ay napalitan ng nasasaktang ekspresyon ngunit agad ding bumalik sa dati. It was a good thing for him to have a sister. He cannot be this emotional towards his brothers. Well, guys are naturally not showy. So he was really thankful to have someone he can totally share his feelings with.

  Nagpakawala ng hangin si Gray. "M-May.." may pag aalinlangan at hiya sa tono ni Gray. "M-May p-paraan pa ba p-para... magkaayos kami, Lily?"

  Natahimik si Violet, inaanalyze ang nangyari. Maya maya ay nagtanong siya, "Kailan pa, kuya?"

  Nag-iwas ng tingin si Gray. "It was the celebration night of Blue and Chaisee's wedding. You know, I was this brokenhearted and I ended up in a bar. Charm picked me up. We were in my unit. Then.. T-Then.." bahagyang humina ang boses niya. He doesn't know if he can now say this out loud. But it was his sister anyway. Nothing to worry about. He glanced at Violet who was intently looking at him while waiting for his continuation so he continued. "Then she confessed. Right then, I hallucinated she was Chaisee. M-Maybe because I badly wanted to hear those words from Chaisee. Then, i-it..it happened." Napapikit ang binata ng kunot ang noo. "I can still remember her pained eyes when I called her Chaisee." He was as if telling that to himself. "Damn.. Dammit, Lily! I'm such a jerk!" He was losing his control.

  Lumapit naman agad sa binata ang nakababatang kapatid. Violet knew his brother as a calm guy. Someone who has a great self-control. And whenever he's losing his composure, she knows it is up for something so precious. Iilang beses palang nakita ni Violet kung paano mawalan ng control sa emosyon ang kuya niya, kasama na roon ang mga panahong nasasaktan ito kay Chaisee. But this one seemed to be different.

  "O-Oy, k-kalma kuys." Awkward na sabi ni Violet saka tinapik sa balikat ang kuya niya.

  Hindi siya pinansin ni Gray bagkus ay itinakip nito ang kanang braso sa mga mata. Katahimikan ang pumainlalang. Ni hindi alam ni Violet ang dapat sabihin. Nakatingin lang siya rito at nakita niya kung paanong bumagsak ang mga butil ng luha kahit nakapikit ang mga mata nito. And that was the very first time she saw her brother cry..

  She never saw him cry in anyone's funeral. Gray never cried for Chaisee before. Hindi nalang siya nagsalita. May bro code silang magkakapatid eh. Bro code na nagsasabing kapag ang babae ay nauna nang magustuhan ng isa sa kanila, hindi na dapat pormahan ng iba. So before, even he remained silent, the sadness were always in his eyes. He just never dared to speak.

  But right now, his sadness were not just into his eyes. It was all over him. It was in his voice, in his look, in his smile, in his every move. It was as if he has a grayish aura that indicates his sorrow. Violet can even imagine that his brother is extremely drowned in sadness.

  Gray's sniffs is the only sound inside the room. So, it was unforgivable? He thought.

  Naupo si Violet sa sariling kama, katabi ng nakahigang kapatid. Nagsalita siya. "Kuya, kilala natin si ate Maine. Mabait siya at mapagmahal. She has been through a lot. Pero hindi ko alam kuya eh. This one's different. Mahirap kasi. You know? Napakabigat. Tapos na. Wala na tayong magagawa. Wala na kayong magagawa. Pero siguro, siguro lang.. mapapatawad ka ni ate Maine. I think, parehas naman kayo may kasalanan eh. Mapapatawad ka niya, kuya. Hindi lang ngayon.." Pagcocomfort ni Violet.

  Hindi siya sanay maging madrama ang ambiance nilang magkapatid, lalo na ang magcomfort. But she tried her best and she thinks it was kinda good when she felt her brother sit and ruined her hair in a kidding manner. Nilingon niya ito. Mamasa-masa pa ang mata pero nakangiti ito bagaman may tingkad pa rin ng lungkot sa mga mata.

  With a small hint of smile in his lips, the guy muttered, "Thank you, sis."

 

 

CHAPTER THREE

"Woy, 'yung totoo, anong nakain mo, Gray?" Patawa-tawang tanong ni Red kay Gray na kanina pa nakangiti habang nagbabasa ng broadsheet.

Lumingon ang apat pang kapatid ni Gray sakaniya. Kumakain sila ng almusal at nasa magkabilang head chair ang kambal na sina Gray at Silver sa kani-kanilang business suit habang nagbabasa ng broadsheet at maya't maya ang higop sa sariling mga kape. Pero hindi katulad ng nakasanayan, panay ang ngiti ni Gray na napansin nila.

Bumalik sa iritable at supladong ekspresyon niya ang binata nang punahin siya ni Red.

"Anong tanong 'yan, Red? Timang ka talaga eh pare-parehas lang naman ang kinakain natin ngayon." Sabi naman ni Neon, ang sumunod kay Blue.

Red glared at Neon. "Boplaks! Baka sa kinain niya kagabi do'n sa Reunion Party nila, 'no?" Sarcastic na sabi nito.

"O di kaya, sa binabasa. Anong sex 'yan?"

"Tigilan niyo nga si kuya Gray!" Tumawa si Violet. "Alam naman nating lahat na kasama niya si ate Maine kagabi at malamang, dahil 'yon do'n."

"Ang taba ng utak mo, Lily!" Sabi naman ni Blue at pabirong ginulo nito ang buhok ni Violet. Napailing nalang si Gray.

"Nagkaayos na kayo, kuya?" Tanong ni Violet.

Gray stared at his sister for so long but remained silent. Napangiwi si Violet. "Yuhoo?"

"Why you guys keep on thinking that Charmaine and I would be in a relationship?" Kunot-noong tanong ni Gray.

"Tss. Sa hitsura mo no'ng nakaraang linggo? You were more than brokenhearted. Mukha kang walking zombie."

Humalakhak si Red. "Kung may commercial nga ang mga brokenhearted, ikaw ang perfect model!"

"Tss." Ang tanging response ni Gray. Inilapag na niya ang newspaper saka siya tumayo kasabay ng paghigpit sa necktie. Tumingin ang binata sa wrist watch. "Hurry up, turtles!"

"Maka-turtle! Nauna ka lang oy!"

Gray chuckled. "Bilisan niyo na. Ihahatid pa natin si Lila." Nakangiting anito saka naunang tumalikod para ilabas ang sasakyan.

Nakatulala namang sinundan ng magkakapatid maliban kay Silver ang dinaanan ni Gray saka sila nagkatinginan na para bang hindi makapaniwala.

"Si Gray ba talaga 'yon?"

"Ibang klase. Nakakapanibago."

"Inlove ang loko."

"Natuwa naman si Blue na wala na siyang karibal kay Chaisee." Nakangising ani Red.

"May bago siyang karibal.." ngising demonyo naman si Neon. Nilingon siya ng tatlo. "Ako. Bwahahaha—pucha! Ang sakit, tado!" Napatigil ito sa mala-kontrabidang tawa nang gawaran siya ng batok ni Blue. Sina Blue, Red at Violet naman ang humalakhak.

DAHIL sa dalawang linggong hindi pumasok sa opisina niya si Gray ay tambak ang gawain niya pero ganado siyang magtrabaho. Damn. Do I really like my best friend romantically?

Napatingin si Gray sa picture nila ni Charmaine na inilagay niya sa desk ngayon. It was them dancing last night in Reunion Party. Ibinigay 'yon ni Silver sakaniya. Oh yeah, Silver and Gray graduated in the same year, they're twins afterall. Hindi lang inasahan ni Gray na aattend ang kakambal niya dahil parehas naman silang walang hilig sa mga ganoong bagay. But Gray was the reason why Silver attend. Ito ay para kuhanan talaga sila ng pictures. Silver told him that it was his belated gift since he wasn't able to attend at his 23rd birthday last month. And Gray highly appreciated his twin's effort for that dance was definitely magical for him.

*Knock! Knock!*

Nauntag si Gray mula sa pagkakatitig sa litrato nila nang may kumatok. Pinapasok niya ang sekretarya. Binati siya nito ngunit hindi man lang niya tiningnan, bagay na nakasanayan na ng babae.

Maingat nitong inilapag ang isang folder sa ibabaw ng desk ng boss. "Files from Miss Laustsen, sir." Magalang nitong sabi.

"Laustsen? You mean, Charmaine Rose Laustsen?" kunot-noong tanong ni Gray saka inilapit ang swivel chair sa mesa.

"Yes, sir."

Bagaman may namuong kaba sa dibdib ni Gray ay kalmado niyang tinanguan ang sekretarya at pinalisan. Pag-alis ng babae ay saka naglakas loob ang binata na buksan ang folder at binasa ang nilalaman. Kunot na kunot ang noo niya. Habang nagbabasa ay naghalu-halo ang nararamdaman niya. Confusion, sadness, pain, disappointment. He thought even they haven't talk yet about that thing, they were already okay. But this proved him wrong.

Hindi na niya tinapos ang pagbabasa at napasandal sa swivel chair saka bumuga ng hangin. Why? Napailing siya at hinilot ang sentido. Parang noon lang niya naramdaman ang pagod sa walang humpay na pagtatrabaho mula pa kaninang umupo siya doon.

Kinuha ni Gray ang phone niya na nakalapag sa desk niya at agad na dinial ang phone number ni Charmaine. Ilang ring palang pero nag-iisip na siya kung tama bang tawagan niya ito. Nag-iisip na rin siya ng paraan para magtanong nang hindi nagtotonong rude. Inikot niya ang swivel chair patalikod sa desk at paharap sa glass window sa opisina niya kung saan matatanaw ang matataas na building ng Manila.

[Hello?]

Biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ni Gray nang marinig ang malumanay at natural na malambing na boses ni Charmaine mula sa kabilang linya.

"Charm..." Bigkas niya sa palayaw niya rito.

[G-Gray..]

Napabuntong-hininga si Gray. Kung hindi ba siya nagpalit ng number at 'yung dati pa rin ang gamit niya ay hindi pa rin sasagutin ni Charmaine ang tawag niya? "Bakit ka umurong bilang stockholder at business partner ko, Charm? Why.. did you cancel the your business proposal?" Tanong ni Gray sa malumanay na paraan, avoiding to sound rude.

[It's not what you think]

"Why? What d'you think I'm thinking?" There was a hint of irritation on the lad's voice.

[You know I know what you're thinking, Gray. But this one has no personal involvement. There's just.. something I have to fix]

Gray heaved a deep sigh. He doesn't know if he's supposed to believe. However, he convinced himself to believe. He kept telling himself that Charmaine wouldn't lie in this thing. Yeah, that's right. That's right. And after a long silence between them, he said, "Okay. I understand." Then he hang up. He understand? Gray hopelessly shook his head. He ended the call for he knew that if he would still hear her voice, he might plead. No, he would actually beg.

His controlled emotions might explode. His locked and unspoken words in mind might be unheard. He might be extremely emotional because honestly, Charmaine is having a bigger and bigger space in his heart. She's having a stronger and stronger impact on him and he's afraid of the possibility that she might be his total weakness that would be his end.

Pabagsak na sumandal si Gray sa swivel chair. Kanina lang ay ganado siya pero ngayon ay wala man lang siyang kalakas-lakas.

Humugot siya ng malalim na hininga. Tumayo at isinuot ang business suit saka lumabas—iniwan ang trabaho. Wala na siya sa hulog. Hindi na niya iyon magagawa pa.

Pagdating sa Katsuwara Mansion ay dire-diretso niyang tinungo ang Entertainment Room. He was completely ignoring everything, he has only one thing in mind—alcohol. He needs to calm himself. He needs something to forget the pain even for a while.

Mula nang umupo sa upuan na nasa mini stool bar ay hindi natinag sa kaiinom si Gray. Dumating sina Blue, Red at Neon, pilit siyang tinatanong kung anong nangyari o pinipigilan pero wala siyang pinakinggan. Nagawa pa nga niyang masuntok si Red sa kadadaldal nito. Ipinagpapasalamat ng tatlo nang dumating si Violet at ito ang nakapigil sakaniya nang pagalitan siya nito.

"Kuya, ano bang problema? Alak na naman ang tinakbuhan mo eh alam naman nating 'yan ang puno't dulo ng problema mo, diba?!"

Gray glared at Violet but remained silent. She was right, anyway. Tahimik siyang tumayo at walang kibong naglakad saka lumabas ng Entertainment Room habang ang apat na nakababatang Katsuwara ay sinundan lamang siya ng tingin na pagewang-gewang sa paglalakad. Ayaw kasi niyang magpaalalay.

"Ano na naman kayang problema no'n?" Walang ideyang sabi ni Red habang hinahawakan ang nasuntok na panga.

Nagkibit-balikat si Blue. "Si Charmaine na naman kaya?"

"Malamang." Ani Violet saka bumuntong-hininga.

Napailing naman si Neon nang nakapameywang. "Tsk, tsk. Nagiging alcoholic."

Natawa nalang silang apat.

SAMANTALA, nanghihina at emosyonal namang ibinaba ni Charmaine ang phone matapos i-end ni Gray ang tawag. Ang buong akala ng dalaga ay magiging maayos na ang lahat dahil sa totoo lang, matapos niyang makita si Gray sa Reunion Party, na-realize niyang mas lamang ang pagmamahal niya. Hindi bale nang hindi siya ang mahal nito, hindi bale nang hindi sila, hindi na bale ang nawala basta maayos sila. Ganoon niya kamahal ang binata.

Pero...

Napalingon si Charmaine sa lalaking nasa kabilang dulo ng kwartong iyon. Nakasandal ito sa nakasaradong pinto habang nakacrossed arms and legs. Itinaas ng binata ang dalawang kilay nang lingunin siya ni Charmaine. "Tapos na?" Kaswal nitong tanong na tinutukoy ang tawag.

Tumango lang si Charmaine. Bakit ba dumating ang lalaking ito sa buhay niya? Pagdating niya kagabi galing sa Reunion Party ay ito na ang bumungad sa kaniya. At ngayon, dalawang taon lang naman ang tanda nito sa kaniya pero daig pa ang senior citizen sa pagiging bossy!

Ngumiti lang ang lalaki at kinuha ang phone kay Charmaine saka tumalikod para buksan ang pinto. Akmang palabas na siya ng pinto nang tawagin siya ni Charmaine.

"Steward!"

Huminto si Steward ngunit hindi siya nilingon. "Yeah?"

Charmaine bit her lower lips to prevent herself from crying. "Why are you doing this?" Puno ng hinanakit na tanong niya.

Nakapamulsang nilingon siya ni Steward saka ito bahagyang ngumiti bagaman nananatiling blangko ang ekspresyon. "Because I love you more than anything else."

"Love? You don't know the real meaning of it, you jerk! If you love me, you shouldn't be doing this! I hate you so much, Steward Eisley! And I will never love you! Never!"

Nagpakawala ng malakas na halakhak si Steward at nginitian siya. "Someday, you will. You will, Charmaine Laustsen." Saka kumindat. May kinuha ito sa bulsa at itinapon iyon sa kama ng dalaga. "And oh, try this. I'll wait you outside." Tumalikod na ang lalaki at tuluyang lumabas.

Naiwan naman si Charmaine at pinakatitigan ang itinapon ni Steward. Her heart raced.

It was a pregnancy test.

 

 

CHAPTER FOUR

Nasa kalagitnaan ng pagmumuni-muni si Violet niya habang nakahiga at nakatitig sa kisame nang biglang may kumatok sa pinto. "Lily?" Boses 'yon ni Blue.

Kunot-noo namang napatingin si Violet sa pinto pero sumigaw na rin siya ng 'pasok!' at kasunod niyon ang pagbukas ng pinto saka pumasok ang kaniyang kuya Blue.... Red, Neon, Gray at Silver. Violet eyes' became a straight line. Isa lang ang tumawag pero lima ang pumasok.

"Bakit?" Tanong ng dalaga saka nakangusong umupo. Lahat ng kapatid niya ay narito. Iniisip na tuloy niya kung anong kalokohan ang ginawa niya recently para i-brain torture siya ng mga kuya.

Red chuckled. "Itsura mo, Lily! Relax. This has nothing to do with your filthy jerky things."

Napangiwi tuloy si Violet pero hindi na siya nagsalita. Nagkaniya-kaniyang puwesto na rin ang mga kapatid niya sa kwarto niya. Humiga si Red at Gray sa kama niya. Sa swivel chair ng computer set niya si Blue, sa isang monoblock chair si Neon habang nagpasya lamang si Silver na sumandal sa pader nang nakapamulsa.

"This is a grand siblings' meeting." Ngiting-ngiting sabi ni Blue.

Nakangiwing napatango-tango si Violet habang nakatingin kay Blue. "Uh-huh?"

Doon naman nagsimulang magpaliwanag si Blue. Tungkol iyon sa nais niyang gawing surprise birthday party sa 20th birthday ng nobya—si Chaisee. Iyon din kasi ang araw na gustong ipakita ng binata ang specially designed na bahay na binili niya para sa kanilang buhay mag-asawa. Plantsado na ang plano at may sari-sariling gawain na ang mga lalaking Katsuwara maliban kay Violet.

"Oh? Ano palang role ko?" Nakangusong tanong ni Violet.

"You'll be the one to take her to our home-sweetie-home without spilling out the surprise." Silver answered.

Pagtapos mag-usap-usap ng magkakapatid ay nilisan na nito ang kuwarto ni Violet pero nagpaiwan si Gray. And Violet knew he has something to ask her. Inikot ng dalaga ang swivel chair na kinauupuan paharap sa computer niya.

"Sabihin mo na ang kailangan mo, kuya. I know you." Nakangising aniya.

"You really are my sister." Gray smiled slightly. "It's about Charmaine."

"As I was expecting." Nakangising inikot ni Violet ang swivel chair paharap sa kuya niyang nakaupo naman sa kama. "So, what about ate Charm—aine?"

"Tss." Sumiring si Gray. "I just want to ask you—"

"—To help you propose?" Putol ni Violet. Isang iritableng kunot-noo lamang ang isinagot ni Gray. Violet frowned. "No? Eh ano?"

"Invite her to attend on Chaisee's birthday party tomorrow night."

Tinaasan siya ni Violet ng dalawang kilay. "Ba't di nalang ikaw ang umimbita, kuya? It's not that I don't want to follow you pero kuya... natotorpe ka ba?" Tumawa ito.

Gray glared at her. "It's not like that, you kid."

"Eh ano?"

"Just invite her."

"Fine, fine." Violet rolled her eyes and murmured. "Pss, torpe."

"I heard you." Gray stood up and finally left his sister's room.

He let out a sigh as he walk in the silence hallway while thinking. Charmaine was not letting him talk to her. Here she goes again, avoiding him. Rejected phone calls. Seen online messages. Hiding when visited. How the hell would he invite her? Sana lang tanggapin nito ang paanyaya kung si Violet ang mang-aalok tutal ay close sila dahil maging sina Blue o Chaisee ay hindi siya magawang kausapin.

Dumiretso na sa office niya ang binata. All his workers greeted him on his way but as usual, he did not even throw a glance. Dire-diretso siya hanggang marating ang office niya nang harangin siya ng sekretarya.

"Sir!" Humahangos ito. "May babae po sa office niyo. Bigla nalang pong pumasok. I already called the guards, Sir. The lady claims she's your fiancée."

Kumunot ang noo ni Gray. Fiancee? Kailan pa siya na-engaged? But then, a familiar face popped up on his head. He tsked and told his secretary that there's no need for guards.

Dali-dali siyang pumasok ng opisina at sinalubong siya ng tili at yakap ng isang dalagang apat na taong mas bata sakaniya. "Omoooo! Kuya Ford!" Nagtatalon pa ito.

Napangiwi si Gray at hinawakan ang dalagita sa magkabilang balikat saka ito inilayo sa kaniya. He stared at the short lady. "Inoue Raquel Aldivar."

Ngumiti ng malawak ang dalaga. "Present!"

Pinitik ni Gray ang noo ng dalaga. "You're seriously a living trouble."

xxx

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Sigawan ng lahat nang ihipan ni Chaisee ang eight-layer cake niya. Kasunod niyon ay ang palakpakan ng mga bisita ang narinig. Ang lahat yata ay masaya maliban sa isang binata sa dulong table, si Gray Katsuwara.

"Ba't di maipinta 'yang mukha mo, brad?" gustong humagalpak ng tawa ni Red nang magtanong dahil ang totoo ay alam naman talaga niya, nilang magkakapatid ang dahilan.

Gray just glared at Red. Saka niya inikot ulit ng tingin ang venue kung saan nagkalat ang mga bisita. Tumingin na naman sa wrist watch at pagkatapos ay pasiring doong inalis ang tingin kasabay ng buntong-hininga. Nagsipag-ilingan sina Silver, Red, Neon at Violet sa akto ng kapatid.

"Hindi na darating 'yon, Gray." Ani Neon at ininom ang isang baso ng wine.

"Oo nga. Wag ka nang umasa." Tumawa si Red.

"I don't know if you guys are naturally negative thinkers or you're just simply wanna tease Gray." Komento ni Silver nang nakatingin sa entrance. Napalingon din sila sa tinitingnan ng panganay. And their jaws literally dropped.

Babaeng-babae si Charmaine!

"Maine's finally here." Silver announced.

"And she's with a guy." Nakangiwing dugtong naman ni Violet.

Kunot-noong sinundan ni Gray ng tingin ang matalik na kaibigan. Nakaangklo ito sa braso ng kasamang lalaki na sa unang tingin palang ay malalamang may lahi nang amerikano o german dahil sa features. Sa tingin ni Gray ay singtangkad niya o ito at sa tantiya niya'y kasing edaran niya lang ang blonde guy o di kaya'y mas matanda lamang ito ng isa o dalawang taon.

"Babaeng-babae si Maine ah?" Puna ni Red.

Nainis lalo si Gray sa katotohanang iyon. Charmaine was wearing a baby pink strapless dress above the knee. Naka-high heels din ito. Nakabrush up ang buhok at may ilang kulot na strands ng buhok sa magkabilang gilid ng mukha na may kaunting make-up.

Who the hell is that motherfucker?

Gray was mad, alright. Never in his life he had been able to force Charmaine on wearing that kind of dress. Anong threats at glare niya, hindi pumapayag ang dalaga. Masyado raw revealing samantalang napaka-okay naman no'n. Tuloy sa t'wing isasama ni Gray si Charmaine sa formal events ay pahirapan siya sa pagpapasuot ng damit dito. Kaya't sino nalang ang lalaking kasama nito at nagawa siyang pilitin?

He must be someone special for her. Tch.

Inalis nalang ni Gray ang tingin sa dalawang iyon dahil hindi niya alam pero sobrang higpit na ng hawak niya sa wine glass. Naiinis siyang makita kung paano lumingkis sa kaibigan niya ang ugok na iyon. Parang gusto niyang manapak. Badtrip.

Napatigil sa pag-iisip si Gray nang dumating sa table nila si Blue at ang celebrant na si Chaisee. Nasa bewang ni Chaisee ang kamay ni Blue. They were both smiling. They looked really inlove.

There was a sudden ache on Gray's chest but he managed to hide that like usual through his blank expression. His siblings were congratulating the couple so as he. He congratulated them with a warm smile which he himself was kind of astonished. Just by looking at them makes him think, what would it be if Chaisee and I were the one who got married? But then, he noticed the sudden change. Okay na siya. He no longer look at Chaisee the way he used to. Nalungkot siya, oo. But he's moving on. He actually feel like just a step away from moving on.

Ilang sandali lang na nakipag-usap ang mag-asawa kina Gray at nagpaalam na ring sasayaw muna. Pag-alis nila'y siyang pagdating ng dalawang lalaki na ang bunsong Katsuwara ang pakay. They were calling her 'Damsel' and that was kind of made the Katsuwara boys chuckle. Inaaya nila itong sumayaw at matapos magpaalam ni Violet sa mga overprotective brothers niya ay umalis na rin sila sa table. Akala ng dalaga ay hindi siya papayagan ng mga kuya lalo na ni Silver pero naalala niyang kilala na ng mga ito ang classmates niya kaya siya pinayagan.

Nang sumayaw sa dance floor si Violet kasama ang isa sa dalawang lalaki ay doon na ipinako ni Gray ang tingin. Inuutusan niya ang sarili na doon lamang sa kapatid tumingin, na kay Violet lamang ituon ang buong atensyon at hindi kay Charmaine.

Umalis sa table nila si Red at Neon para humanap raw ng 'chix' kaya't sa huli'y ang kambal na lamang ang natira na parehas lamang pinapanood ang bunsong kapatid. Ilang lalaki ang nakipagsayaw kay Violet at tagumpay na sana si Gray na dito lamang ipukol ang atensyon kung hindi lang dahil sa isang pares na sumasayaw na katabi lamang nina Violet.

Tumiim ang bagang ni Gray at matalim ang tinging tiningnan ang pares na iyon—Charmaine with her escort. Sinusubukan ni Gray na 'wag itong tingnan at muling ibaling kay Violet ang atensyon pero mahirap lalo pa't nag-usap si Charmaine at Violet. Sa isang iglap, lumipat at napako ang buong atensyon ni Gray kay Charmaine at sa lalaking kasayaw nito na nakatalikod sa view niya.

"Bro, don't break the glass." Puna ni Silver sa kambal saka ito humalakhak.

Gray glared at his twin and shifted his gaze at the glass he was holding. It was near shattered. What the fuck? Niluwagan niya ang hawak sa baso at muling tiningnan ang kapatid pero muling napabaling kay Charmaine ang atensyon niya.

Sobrang talim ng tingin ng binata sa likod ng kasayaw ni Charmaine. Hindi rin niya maintindihan.

Sa mga oras na iyon, gusto niyang sapakin nalang ang lalaking iyon. Hindi niya alam kung hanggang kailan nga ba niya kayang pigilan ang emosyon at kahit anong pigil niya'y patuloy lamang na tumatalim ang tingin niya, patuloy na nagtitiim ang bagang niya at patuloy na humihigpit ang hawak niya sa wine glass.

Malalim at mabagal ang paghinga ng binata habang nakatitig sa dalawa. Lalong nag-init ang ulo niya nang hawakan ng lalaking iyon ang mukha ni Charmaine at wala siyang makitang pagpoprotesta sa ekspresyon ng huli. Kinabig pa ito palapit lalo ng lalaki at tuluyang nabasag ang manipis na baso sa kamay ni Gray. He feel like murdering at the moment.

Silver chuckled from the background. "Someone's possessive eh?"

Gray ignored the comment and stood up with his stiff posture. "We'll fucking go home." He firmly declared.

Silver let out another chuckle. "Hell yeah. We really have to before you murder someone." He also stood up wth his hands in his pockets. He's not the type of person who frequently chuckle but he just simply like his twin's actions and expressions out of jealousy.

Kahit may kasayaw pa si Violet ay hinila na ito ni Gray palayo. Dahil katabi lang naman nila sina Charmaine ay napalingon rin ang mga ito. Gray can't help but glance at Charmaine. Their gaze met. It was like a slow-motion movie scene for Gray. Everything got blurred but Charmaine. In that milliseconds, the guy cannot hear anything but his racing heart beats. A girly stuff he never believed at actually happened to him!

Tug. Dug. Tug. Dug.

"Kuya, bakit?" Ang boses ng kapatid ang nagbalik sa binata sa reyalidad.

Nilingon niya ang kapatid. "We're going home." He managed to sound cold.

"Kuya.." Nagpoprotesta ang tono ng dalaga.

"No buts, Violet Katsuwara." He told her with firm coldness.

Pero iwinaksi ni Violet ang kamay niya mula sa hawak ng nakatatandang kapatid. "No. I'd stay."

"Violet." Gray's tone was threatening.

"Kuya Blue would probably stay. Sakaniya nalang ako sasabay." Violet insisted. "Or maybe Kuya Red and Kuya Neon."

Gray's brows arched. "The couple had their own private celebration. Red and Neon probably went out for one-night-stand. Therefore, you'd go home with us."

"What the hell?" Tanging naibulalas ni Violet. Just what the hell is wrong with my brother?

"Did you just cuss?" Iritable ang binata.

"I'd just be the one to drive her home." Sumingit ang lalaking kasayaw ni Violet,

Nilingon ito ni Gray. He was Chaisee's younger brother. Kento or Saito? He forgot.

"Shut up, kid. It's a brother-to-sister talk."

And with that, tuluyan nang hinatak ni Gray si Violet pasakay sa kotseng pag-aari niya. Nandoon na rin si Silver at sinabing nakapagpaalam na sila. On their way home, Violet was frowning. Pagdating sa Mansion ay padabog pang umakyat ang dalaga sa hagdan and Gray can no longer tolerate that.

"Drop the bitchy act, Violet."

The girl snorted. "Then drop being overly protective!" She intentionally sounded disrespectful.

"Violet Katsuwara." Silver called the girl with such authority. Violet was mad but she cannot disobey his brother in that kind of tone. Tumigil siya sa pag-akyat at nilingon ang kapatid. "What?"

Nairita naman si Gray sa akto ng kapatid. "Why the hell are you acting like that, lady?"

"Ikaw kuya? Ba't ka ba umakto ng gano'n kanina?" Ibinalik nito ang tanong. "Was it because of me or because of ate Maine? Kung dahil 'yon sakaniya, ba't mo pa ako dinamay?!" Violet was really irritated.

"Kailan ka pa natutong sumagot?"

"Ngayon." Mabilis na sagot ni Violet.

"And that was because of him? You like him, don't you? And you just talked back because of such an immature reason! What kind of immaturity is that?" Hindi na napigilan ni Gray na magtaas ng boses.

"Gray." Silver called him, a way of telling him to calm down.

"You know the rule, Violet!" Hindi nagpatinag si Gray.

And the Mansion fell on silence. That created a huge ice that froze the three of them. Violet is not allowed to get in touch romantically with a guy. A rule under of such an empire their family are in. It would cause a disaster.

"Pss. Eh.. ikaw?" Violet broke the ice after a few seconds. "You love her, don't you? Malas mo lang dahil kahit anong gawin mo, hindi ka na niya patatawarin. Kung ako si ate Maine, kakalimutan kong nakilala kita. Walang kapatawaran 'yong ginawa mo, Kuya. Wag kang umasang magkakaayos pa kayo." Iyon lang at tumalikod na si Violet paalis.

Bagaman malumanay ang pagkakasabi ni Violet dahil sa reyalisasyon, nagawa niyong tamaan ang soft spot ni Gray. Violet's words had strong impact. He was too stunned to fully absorb what she said. Her words were poisonous that made him oblivious for a second. She was right.. It was unforgivable.. He isn't worth forgiving. He was a chaos for her. It's a hopeless case. He's a dumb. He really is.

"Gray. You know she say words she doesn't mean when she's mad." Silver stated. Naiipit siya sa dalawa. That was one of the rare moments when he wished to have Neon or Red around. They're good at comforting.

Pero hindi madadala ng kahit anong comforting words sa mga oras na iyon si Gray. Ramdam na ramdam niya ang sisi, guilt at galit sa sarili. T**g ina, bakit ba ang gago ko?

Tila pasan ang mundo at walang imik na tumalikod si Gray. Isa lang ang lugar na naiisip niyang puntahan--ang public garden na madalas nilang puntahan ni Charmaine noon.

Isang malalim na buntong-hininga naman ang pinakawalan ni Silver habang sinusundan ng tingin ang likod ng kambal na tuluyang naglakad palayo nang nakapamulsa at nakayuko. Wala siyang balak pigilan ito sa kung saan ito pupunta. He knows he need solitude. He seeks isolation for now. Alam naman niyang hindi ito gagawa ng bagay na hindi dapat. Tss. Nasa wisyo pa naman ang kakambal niya. Maaring maging kritikal pero imposibleng matuluyan.

Nang tuluyang nawala sa paningin ni Silver si Gray ay nakapamulsa siyang tumalikod sa dinaanan nito at tiningala naman ang hagdan na dinaanan ni Violet. He isn't dumb so as Gray. They both know she likes the young Hoshikawa and they both prepared themselves for this moment they knew would happen years ago.

Napailing na naglalakad ang panganay na Katsuwara. Napapamura nalang siya sa isipan. Dapat ba niyang gustuhin pang magmahal?

Falling in love is such a great conflict. Seriously.

-

 

CHAPTER FIVE

  GRAY found himself under the Acasia Tree in a private garden somewhere in Cavite. Dalawang oras ang byahe niya mula sa Katsuwara Mansion patungo dito. He doesn't know. He just suddenly missed the place.

It was the same place where they used to have fun. And it was the same spot where they were usually found during their high school days. His best friend.

Nakasandal si Gray sa puno nang nakaupo. Nakatiklop ang kanang tuhod kung saan nakapatong ang kanang siko niya. He was silently staring at the crescent moon surrounded by bright stars on the sky.

The lad let out a heavy sigh.

Paanong nagkaganito ang lahat? Paanong nauwi sa ganito ang pagkakaibigan nila? May pag-asa pa ba? Iyon ang paulit-ulit na tanong niya sa sarili na paulit-ulit ring nabibigyan ng iisang sagot.

Wala na and it was all your fault.

Mariing napapikit si Gray nang kunot noo kasabay ng paglunok. Kaya ba niya? Kaya pa ba niya? Pakiramdam niya'y hindi na.

Walang kapatawaran 'yong ginawa mo, Kuya. Wag kang umasang magkakaayos pa kayo.

Muli ay nag-echo sa isip niya ang sinabing iyon ni Violet. Sobrang bigat niyon para sakaniya at wala siyang nagawa kundi ang tanggapin ang ibinatong iyon ni Violet na talaga namang ikinabagsak niya.

Paano niya tatanggaping wala na sa buhay niya ang taong nakasama niya ng labing-walong taon? Paano? Can I even accept it to begin with? Panay ang mura ni Gray sa sarili sa isipan. But everything already happened and there's nothing he can do to rewind the events.

Idinilat ni Gray ang mata saka ibinukas ang kaliwang kamao para makita ang isang gray na plastic at pambatang singsing. Ito ang eksaktong singsing na ibinigay sa kaniya ni Charmaine no'ng unang araw na nagkausap sila.

First day sa kinder ni Gray. Palinga-linga lang siya at walang makausap. Hanggang sa isaayos ng guro ang upuan nila at sa kasamaang palad ay isang napakadaldal na bata ang nakatabi niya. Kaya nang break time ay inilabas na ni Gray ang PSP niya at isinuot ang headphones saka nagpatugtog ng malakas huwag lamang siyang kausapin ng babaeng katabi niya pero sadyang makulit ito.

"Anong nilalaro mo?"

Hindi niya pinapansin ito at kunot-noong nakatitig lang sa PSP pero dahil sa kakulitan nito ay namatay siya sa game. Ibinaba ng batang lalaki ang headphones saka tiningnan ng masama ang babae.

"What d'you want?"

Napakairitable ng tono ni Gray pero napakinang niyon ang mata ng babae at sinabi nitong gusto niyang hiramin ang PSP at maglaro din ng barilan na nilalaro ni Gray pero isang kunot-noo lang ang isinagot sa kaniya ng limang taong gulang na Gray dahil hindi ito makapaniwalang hindi maintindihan ng batang 'yon na iritado siya. Ngumuso ang batang babae at sinabihan siyang pipe. Isang 'tss' lang isinagot ni Gray at akmang susuutin nang muli ang headphones nang pigilan siya nito at saka may kinuha sa bulsa—isang plastic na singsing na kulay Gray.

"Alam mo, lucky charm 'to sabi no'ng binilihan ko. At mas million times lucky charm pa daw 'to kasi Charmaine ang pangalan ko. Ikaw? Anong pangalan mo? Hehe. Alam mo, pag pinahiram mo sa'kin 'yang PSP mo, ibibigay ko 'to sayo."

Napaawang ang labi no'n ni Gray pero muli ring bumalik sa suplado nitong mukha. Napasimangot ang batang Charmaine dahil iniisip niyang hindi talaga nito ipapahiram ang PSP nito pero ikinagulat niya nang ilapag ni Gray sa desk nito ang PSP at hinablot ang singsing na hawak niya. Tiningala niya ito.

"Fine. I'll take it."

And he left with a little smile on his lips.

Napailing si Gray sa naisip. It was one of the beautiful things he always wanted to reminisce. He actually let her borrow the PSP not because it was a lucky charm as she says but because he was amazed of the magical co-incidence between them and the ring. It was a lucky charm for she named Charmaine and it was color gray when he was actually named Gray.

Eversince that day, Charmaine kept on borrowing Gray's PSP. The five-year old Gray was a bit annoyed but he got used of a girl following her because of lots and lots of reason.

Isang hapon, naglalakad ang grade three version of Charmaine and Gray na pawis na pawis galing sa soccer practice nila.. Parehas kasi silang soccer player at ng daanan pauwi. Nauuna nga lang ang bahay ni Gray kaya hindi alam ni Gray ang bahay ni Charmaine. Gaya ng nakasanayan ay daldal pa rin ito ng daldal kahit na ipinahiram na sa kaniya ni Gray ang PSP para manahimik siya.

"Seriously, why do you keep on following me and hanging out with the boys? Why don't you befriends with your fellow girls in our class?"

Ngumiti si Charmaine. "Kasi ayoko sa kanila. Ang aarte!"

"Tss. It's alright to be a lesbian. dude."

Sinuntok ni Charmaine sa braso si Gray. Gray glared at her but she chuckled. "Besides, ayaw din naman nila sa akin.." Itinuon nito ang tingin sa hawak na PSP. "Since I'm an orphan."

Napatigil no'n si Gray. They've been friends for almost four years but then, he never knew she was an orphan. Gray realized that the orphanage in their subdivision must be Charmaine's home. Nilingon ni Charmaine si Gray dahil huminto ito. She smiled.

"Don't be bothered, Katsuwara! I'm going to be adopted soon!" Tumakbo si Charmaine palapit kay Gray at inabot sa lalaki ang isang blue soccer cap. "And oh! Happy birthday to me! Nalimutan mo na naman." She pouted. "Kaya para hindi mo makalimutan, lagi mong suutin 'tong cap. Ang daya mo 'no? Ako 'yong celebrant pero ako pa 'yong nagregalo! Ah! Alam ko na! Para next time, may regalo ka na, simula ngayon, mag best friend na tayo. Kasi diba ang bestfriends laging alam ang tungkol sa isa't isa at palaging may regalo? Byebye na, Gray!"

Nakaawang ang labing sinundan ni Gray ng tingin ang papalayong tumatakbo. Napakadaldal talaga ni Charmaine at ni hindi man lang siya nakapagsalita. But then, he found himself letting out a slight smile as he lowered his head to look at the blue soccer cap. There, Charmaine's name and her birthday were embroided.

A year after, on Charmaine's 9th birthday, Gray gave her a blue soccer cap with his name and his birthday embroided on it.

A tear wet the ground when Gray lowered his head. That single tear was like a signal to other tears to fall. The lad felt how his chest ache. Happy memories that supposed to make him smile actually make him cry. Dahil sa pagkakaalala niya ng simula ay pagkaalala niya na maaring matapos na rin ang pinagsamahan nila. He kept sniffing while wiping his tears. He mournfully chuckled. I terribly look like a pathetic kid now. How humiliating. Pero kahit anong punas niya sa luha ay may patuloy lang na tumutulo. Damn. Buong lakas na sinuntok ni Gray ang lupang binasa ng kaniyang luha. No matter how he stop his mind, it kept flowing the memories they once had.

Charmaine and Gray were strongly bonded together with the other Katsuwaras. Kilala siya ni Silver, Blue, Red, Neon at Violet. And she was actually close with them. They graduated primary and started secondary together. Parati naman silang magkaklase at madalas ay seatmates dahil sunuran lang ang apelyido nila--Katsuwara at Laustsen. Ever since the day Charmaine gave Gray the blue soccer cap, Gray became totally close of her. It was like as if he accepted the Charmaine's words that says they're already bestfriends.

Funny thing was when Gray wasn't aware yet that he already accepted Charmaine as his best friend. He always find himself paying attention to her nonsensical stories—noon rin niya nalaman na tumira si Charmaine ng sampung taon sa orphanage pero may specific na pamilya ang sumusuporta sa kaniya kaya nakapag-aral siya sa private school and that specific family was the family that adopted her, the Laustsens. He always find himself waiting for her to arrive and sometimes picking her up. He always find himself buying three gifts for her every year—for the Christmas, for her birthday and for their so-called 'Friendsarry' which he remembered for an unknown reason.

Third year high school, hindi sila magkaklase dahil magkaiba sila ng piniling TLE Subject. Doon nakilala ni Charmaine ang greatest crush niya at ang kauna-unahang manliligaw. Turns out, the guy back out for he thought Charmaine liked to hang out with Gray than him. Noong taong iyon din nakilala ni Gray si Chaisee Hoshikawa, ang transferee sa school nila na kumuha ng atensyon niya dahil sa galing nito sa piano at violin. Besides, Chaisee was most likely to be a 'dalagang filipina' which Gray never encountered before since he has been hanging out with his boyish sister and boyish bestfriend. Iyon din ang taon kung kailan nagkaroon ng boyfriend si Charmaine which just lasted for two months because the guy was jealous of Gray who has more of Charmaine's attention. Hindi naman iyon iniyakan ni Charmaine dahil sa totoo lang ay wala siyang pakialam.

On their fourth year, Gray's twin, Silver, entered the Mysterecy High because he suddenly got interested with Chaisee, Charmaine and Gray. He was curious of the girl that Blue and Gray both liked. He was used to be homeschooled ever since he was in grade three because he chose to be one but because he wanted to take part of Blue and Chaisee and Gray and Charmaine's lovestory, he decided to attend into a normal school.

Gumawa ng ingay ang pangalan ng Katsuwara. Silver and Gray on their fourth year, Blue on third year, Neon on second year and Red on first year. Masyado silang sikat at naaangasan ang gangs at fraternities sa kanila kaya madalas silang mapaaway kahit na hindi naman nila ginusto. At dahil may lahing mga hapones na may tradisyong mag-aral ng martial arts, madalas ay sila ang panalo sa away na hinamon sila. Dahil doon, pinuntirya ng mga kaaway nila ang pinakabatang Katsuwara—si Violet.

"Katsuwara! Nasaan ang mga Katsuwara?!"

Humahangos noon ang isang third year student sa room nina Gray at Silver Katsuwara. Puno ng dugo ang palda nito nang ibalita sa kanilang may gustong kumuha sa bunso nila na nasa Primary at si Charmaine ang kasama nito na noon ay nakikipag-away. Walang paalam na dumiretso ang kambal sa primary division matapos tawagan ang tatlo pang Katsuwara.

Nang makarating sila sa location ay nakaupo na sa sahig si Charmaine habang yakap si Violet. Mukha na itong hinang-hina and Gray's heart raced. He felt how a raging fire started on his chest when he saw the knife that had been stabbed on Charmaine's stomach. And a battle between the Katsuwara's and their foes begun.

Charmaine was sent to the hospital with Violet. Wala siyang malay at si Gray ang nagbantay sa kaniya umaga at gabi. He was so mad. Three days after, Charmaine woke up. Gray welcomed him with a hug. Hindi niya alam na nasa likod pala niya noon si Silver at bago pa niya mailayo ang sarili kay Charmaine ay itinulak ni Silver ang ulo niya ng may puwersa. He was caught-of-guard so as she. And that was when they both had their first kiss.

 

GRAY held his chest. Remembering that moment still make his heart beat so fast. But this time, it has pain with it. Isang buntong-hininga ang pinakawalan niya habang blangkong nakatingin sa lupang kinauupuan niya. He can still remember how that felt like. And he never felt that way before towards Chaisee. Napahawak siya sa dibdib. Do I really know what love is? Do I really know the difference between love and infatuation? He let out a sigh.

That kiss made him confused. But he never thought he was in love with Charmaine for he sticked out of believing Chaisee was the only girl he loved because she got his attention for standing out from the rest. But reminiscing how I felt back then and realizing what I feel right now tells me what the difference between love and infatuation.

Napapikit siya kasabay ng panibagong luhang tumulo mula sa kaniyang mga mata. How stupid of him for not realizing this things. But does he really like her? Or love her perhaps? Naguguluhan siya. Pakiramdam niya ay mahal pa rin niya si Chaisee pero alam na niyang hindi lang basta bestfriend ang tingin niya kay Charmaine. If he loves her, then why would he feel like he love someone else? It's confusing. Regardless of the answer, he still cannot change the fact that situation is so different now.

Tila nagkusa ang kamay niyang magkamao at malakas na sumuntok sa lupa. "AHHHH!" He was shouting out of frustration. Just damn. Patuloy siya sa pagsuntok sa lupa ng buong lakas at patuloy na sumisigaw. Naguguluhan na siya. Ano na bang dapat niyang gawin? Is there still a hope? Muli ay pumasok sa isip niya ang pangyayaring iyon at ang mga nangyari sa nakaraan. How could he keep everything? How could he fix this chaos? "AAAAHHH! AAAAHHH!" Patuloy siya sa pagsigaw at pagsuntok hanggang sa muli na namang tumulo ng sunud-sunod ang luha niya. This is so frustrating, so confusing, so painful.

"Gray..."

Tug. Dug. Tug. Dug.

A voice suddenly sounded like a command to stop him. Para siyang nanigas at nanatili sa puwesto niyang nakayuko sa lupa kung saan nakadikit ang kamao. I-Is that really.. her? He was afraid of looking up and to realize it was just some fucking hallucination. But there was a part of him that wanted to confirm if that was her.

Dahan-dahan ay inangat ni Gray ang tingin sa pinanggalingan ng boses. Isang dipa ang layo sa kaniya, nakaupo nang nasa paa ang bigat.

"C-Charm..." He whispered her name as another set of tears fall. "Charm..." He repeated. Is that really you? Or just a hallucination? "C-Charm.." He again called her, this time, with a cracked voice. "Charmaine.. Charmaine.." Basag ang boses na paulit-ulit niyang tinatawag ang pangalan ng dalaga. He didn't care if he sounded so pathetic. He didn't care if he looked so terrible with eyes swollen in tears.

Tila walang lakas na napasandal siya sa puno habang hindi inaalis ang tingin kay Charmaine na nasa harap niya. Natatakot siyang baka isa nga lang talaga itong halusinasyon at baka mawala ito sa oras na kumurap siya. Nakatingin ito sa kaniya gamit ang matang punung-puno ng lungkot at sakit. Napailing ang babae at gamit ang nanginginig na kamay ay hinawakan niya ang mukha ni Gray na siyang lalong nagpahagulhol sa binata. Charmaine gently wiped the tears of the guy with a sigh of sadness.

"Charmaine.." Hinapit ni Gray ang babae palapit sa kaniya at niyakap ito ng mahigpit. He can't help but cry out loud. "You're real.. You're real.." He kept whispering with his cracked voice.

Gumanti ng yakap si Charmaine habang hinahagod ang likod ng binata. "Sshh.."

Parang bata namang humagulhol si Gray sa dibdib ng dalaga. "I'm sorry, Charm.. I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.. Please forgive me. I-I.. I don't wanna lose you.. I can't lose you.." Inilayo ni Gray ang dalaga at tinitigan. "I can't, Charm."

Malungkot na pinakatitigan ng dalaga ang binata saka siya malungkot na ngumiti. "I don't want to lose you too." At marahan nitong pinunasan ang luha sa pisngi ng binata. "But this is not the right time for us, Gray. I.. I.." Napayuko si Charmaine habang nananatili sa dibdib ang hintuturong ipinantuturo. She sniffed as tears continued flowing from her eyes. She sighed. "I still have to move on and accept this fact here." At itinuktok niya ang daliri sa dibdib. Suminghot ang dalaga at pinunasan ang mata saka tiningnan si Gray. "The damage has been done and it is beyond repair." She again smiled bitterly and wiped her tears.

Napayuko si Gray habang patuloy na umiiyak. He know that. He completely know that. He just can't accept that. Yeah right, beyond repair. He can't say even a single word. He was just.. crying in pain. In that silent night, under the Acasia Tree, only their sniffs can be heard.

Huminga ng malalim si Charmaine. This goodbye is the most painful thing I've ever encountered. She cupped her bestfriend's face and lifted it up to meet his eyes. "Gray, listen up.." She cleared her throat. Pinilit niyang ngumiti saka kinagat ang labi para pigilan ang paghikbi. "No matter what happen.." Idinikit niya ang noo sa noo ng binata. "We would keep everything we had. Masakit, malungkot, masaya, Gray, we'll keep that, okay?" Malungkot ulit siyang ngumiti saka tuluyang binitawan ang mukha ni Gray. "But this time we have to set our own ways apart." Muling lumunok ang babae saka dahan-dahang lumapit sa kaibigan at hinagkan ang noo nito. Napapikit si Gray sa ginawa nito saka napalunok. Why does it sound like a goodbye? It was a short yet full of emotions kiss from her.

Sa pagdilat ng mata ng binata ay nakalayo na sa kaniya si Charmaine. Nakatayo ito sa harapan niya at malungkot na nakangiti. "Goodbye, Grayforddon Cydhe." Without a word from the guy, she turned her back and left him dumbfounded.

And that was where everything ended.

 

 

CHAPTER SIX

"ORAAAAYT! INUMAN NAAA!"

Ang malakas na hiyawan ng mga lalaki ang nangingibabaw sa Mansion ng mga Katsuwara kasunod ng maingay na pagtatama ng wine glasses. Karamihan sa mga naroon ay nakasuot pa rin ng itim na toga kasama si Violet.

Lumapit si Gray kay Violet saka ito inakbayan. "Happy graduation, Lily." He told her with a smile saka nito inilapit ng bahagya ang hawak na wine glass.

Tininangala ni Violet ang Kuya niya saka nginitian. "Arigatou." Nakipagcheers ito. "Mahirap bang magtrabaho, Kuya?"

Gray chuckled and ruined her hair. "For you, it would be."

Isang suntok sa braso ang ibinigay ni Violet sa Kuya. "Kuya ba talaga kita?!" They chuckled in unison.

Lumapit sa kanilang dalawa ang iba pang Katsuwara at gaya ni Gray ay inakbayan rin nila si Violet saka ginulo ang buhok nito. "Graduate na kayo! Welcome sa business world!" Sigawan ng mga ito na siyang ikinatawa ng dalaga pati na ng mga kaibigan niyang kasabay niyang gumraduate.

"Oy, Kuya Silver!" Tinawag ni Red si Silver na noon ay nakaupo lang sa isang upuan at tahimik na iniinom ang alak. "Picture dali!"

Sumiring naman si Silver nang may iritableng mukha. Ayaw nga niyang masyadong maraming tao sa Mansion at maingay tapos ngayon ay idadamay pa siya sa picture taking? It's not his thing and he doesn't like camera flashes for heaven's sake. But then, hindi na siya nakapalag pa nang hilahin siya ng mga kapatid at sapilitang pinakuhanan ng litrato—a picture where only him and Gray remained poker face. Talk about twins.

Naging matagal ang celebration ng mga naroon. Napuno ang Mansion ng maiingay at lasing na kantahan, mga nakakabaliw na sayawan at mga nakakalokong palaro. Alas quarto na ng madaling araw nang tuluyan nang bumagsak ang mga bisita at ang mga Katsuwara maliban kay Gray

Nasa sari-sarili na nilang kuwarto ang mga tao ngunit nananatili si Gray sa kinauupuan at pilit pa ring umiinom ng alak. Nakangisi siyang napapailing. This was the same day she left seven years ago. The guy heaved a sigh.

Seven years. It's been seven years.

Muli niyang nilagyan ng alak ang wine glass at ininom. It's been seven years but it feels like just yesterday. He feels the same murderous pain. No, it was more murderous this time. Every day in that seven years, he waited. He was waiting. Even now, he's still waiting. Pero may hinihintay pa nga ba siya? O dapat na siyang sumuko? Gray shook his head. Meron o wala, maghihintay siya.

That night they met under the Acasia Tree where they said their goodbyes was the very last moment they talked. Kinabukasan ng araw na iyon ay nalaman nalang ni Gray na lumipad na papuntang America si Charmaine. It caused Gray's break down. Inisip ni Gray na gaya nga iyon ng sinabi ni Violet. Walang kapatawaran ang nagawa niya at hindi na siya mapapatawad pa ni Charmaine.

However, Gray followed Charmaine in America one week later. He already realized who she was in his life all this time. Hindi na siya makakapayag na mawala sa kaniya ito and he promised himself he would regain her trust. He would do anything to take her back.

Pero nang makita niya si Charmaine ay napatigil siya. After two weeks of tracing her location, he finally found her. But she was living with a guy under the same roof. It was the same guy that Charmaine was with during Chaisee's 20th birthday. And when Gray stared at them, he saw how Charmaine happily smile with him. Can he still fight? Gray was actually eager to fight for her. He was still willing to fight. He would still fight that time. Pero paano siya lalaban kung ang ipinaglalaban niya ay hindi naman sasaya kung manalo siya?

Gray tailed them for a month. Gusto niyang malaman kung masaya ba talaga si Charmaine sa lalaki na ipinagsearch pa niya. The guy was Steward Eisley. A business tycoon of USA and the only heir of Eisley Incorporation. Sa isang buwang pagsunud-sunod ni Gray ay napatunayan niyang masaya naman sila, lalo na si Charmaine at maayos ang buhay ni Charmaine kasama ang lalaking iyon. At tila isang hindi lumabang talunan ay ipinaubaya na ni Gray si Charmaine sa piling ni Steward.

"Gray. Take a rest."

Nabalik sa reyalidad si Gray. Napalingon siya sa likod niya nang may magsalita. It was Silver who looked so drunk with his eyes half-open. Nakabusiness suit pa rin ito pero halatang lasing na.

"Why don't you? You seemed to need that more than I." Sagot ni Gray at muling itinuon ang tingin sa bibig ng hawak na baso.

Lumapit si Silver at umupo sa upuang katapat ng kay Gray saka ito nagkusang kumuha ng baso at maglagay ng alak para inumin. "I bet you need a company." Silver told him.

"Tss."

"Still into Charmaine, eh?" Silver chuckled. Sinalinan nito ang baso ni Gray ng alak. "You know what, bro. Move on. As what I can see, she was already happily inlove with who was the guy again?"

Gray glared at his twin and pushed the table between them. Sa lakas ng tulak niya ay tumama ang lamesa sa dibdib ni Silver. "Shut up, fucktard."

But instead of getting upset, Silver just laughed at his twin's reaction. Nag-iigting naman ang panga ni Gray nang masamang nakatingin rito. He never liked it when his twin's drunk. Napakamapang-asar nito at lalo na ng tawa. Minsan na niya itong nasapak dahil sa ganitong ugali, bagay na bibihira pero nakakatarantado.

"But seriously, dude, you have to move on." Silver looked at him and smirked. "You gotta find a wife soon but that can't be Charm." And he again laughed.

And Gray cannot take it anymore. That was not a joke and no one is allowed to call Charmaine Charm but him. Sinipa niya sa ilalim ng upuan ang upuan ni Silver dahilan para tumumba ang upuan pero maagap si Silver dahil alam na niya ang gawain na iyon ni Gray. Sa huli ay matuwid na nakatayo ang panganay na Katsuwara at tanging ang upuan lang ang natumba. Bagay na lalong ikinainis ni Gray.

"Leave me alone and fetch your Lovely Angel out there." Gigil na sabi ni Gray.

The name suddenly stiffened Silver and that made Gray smirk. The best weapon against his twin—Lovely Angel. Sumeryoso si Silver bigla at nakapamulsang tinalikuran siya saka akmang aalis na nang magsalita si Gray.

"Now, you're the one annoyed?" Gray said, smirking.

Silver snorted. "I just wanna tell you attend an important meeting for me tomorrow morning. I have something important to do with Lovely. So attend that for me. I count on ya." And that was when he left.

Napailing nalang si Gray habang sinusundan ng tingin ang kapatid saka niya ipinagpatuloy ang pag-iinom ng mag-isa. Malungkot ang ngiti sa mga labing patuloy na inaalala ang mga nangyari. How he wished they could just go back where they were still in high school, when they were still happy. Napapailing nalang ang binata sa sariling iniisip. No matter how many times he think about the past, it would never be change and he got no choice but to accept the reality.

Isang buntong-hininga ang pinakawalan ni Gray saka tumayo na pagkalapag sa wine glass. Gegewang-gewang man ay nagawa pa rin niyang marating ang kuwarto. Ngunit hindi na niya nagawang magpalit ng damit o tanggalin man lang ang sapatos. Padapang nagpatihulog nalang siya sa kama bago niya naramdaman ang pagbigat ng talukap ng mga mata. Seems like he's going to fall asleep fast for he was really tired. Physically and emotionally.

      "YOU look terribly happy." Nakangiwing sabi ni Steward habang tinitigan ang babaeng katapat niya sa upuan sa eroplanong iyon.

Nilingon siya ni Charmaine nang malawak pa rin ang ngiti sa labi. "What's terrible about being happy, dummy?"

Steward frowned and just make himself comftable with his chair as he close his eyes. "It’s not decent. I'm going to close my eyes now." Gaya ng sabi nito'y pumikit nga ito saka kumapit sa armrest ng upuan. "Damn. This is what I fucking hate in airplanes." He murmured.

Charmaine can't help but laugh. "I really don't know how you survive every business trips you had when you actually can't take the airplane landing, Steward. Have your business partners seen you like that? So priceless!" Charmaine let out another laugh.

Steward glared at the woman and threw his cap to her. "Shut up or else I'll make this plane crash!"

Tumawa lang si Charmaine at pabirong umirap. "Yeah, yeah!"

 

      "DAMN IT, SILVER! Don't you ever show your face to me again!"

Inis na inis na naglalakad papasok si Gray sa building ng own company ng kakambal habang sinisigawan ang huli sa telepono. Alas quarto na siya nakatulog dahil sa sobrang pag-iinom niya sa celebration ng graduation ni Violet at ang masama sa gising niya ay isang napakalamig na tubig ang bumuhos sa mukha niya alas siete ng umaga! Natapon ang baldeng iyon eksakto sa mukha niya nang kasabay ng nakakatuliling pagring ng tatlong alarm clock sa kuwarto niya na hindi niya man lang alam kung paanong lumitaw.

[Easy man. I'm pretty sure--]

"Easy your ass, fucktard!" Huling sigaw ni Gray bago tuluyang ibinaba ang tawag.

Kunot na kunot ang noo ng lalaki habang papasok ng office. May hang over pa rin siya dahil puro hard drinks ang tinira niya. But he had no time for that. Kailangan pa niyang attendan ang meeting na pinapupuntahan sa kaniya ni Silver dahil hindi raw ito makakapunta pero dahil importante ang darating ay kailangan nito siya para humalili. This is one of the moments when he hated being another physical version of Silver Katsuwara.

"Good morning, Si—"

"Where is the fucking conference room?" Tiim ang bagang na putol ni Gray sa sinasabi ng sekretarya ni Silver.

Nagtaka naman ang sekretarya sa tanong ng boss. "Sir?" How could he forget where the conference room was when it was actually where he usually stay? Her thought.

"Do you want me to repeat what I've said to fire you?"

"S-Sir.. that way po. The right side and the first door." Uutal-utal na sabi ng babae sa boss na sa paningin niya'y si Silver.

Wala namang sali-salitang umalis si Gray at pinuntahan ang conference room. Pagpasok niya ay pagbati ng mga panel ang sumalubong sa kaniya. Mukha nang kumpleto ang mga ito at tanging siya nalang ang kulang. Kunot ang noo na dire-diretsong umupo sa head chair ang binata nang wala man lang tinapunan ng tingin saka binuklat ang folder na tingin niya'y presentation plan ng magpo-propose ng business collaboration with Silver's company.

"Begin." He ordered with authority as soon as he opened the folder and read the first words.

Ilang sandali ang lumipas pero wala siyang narinig na nagsasalita o pagkilos. Mas lalo lang siyang nairita at gusto na agad na ireject ang business proposal ng kung sino man dahil napakabagal ng pagkilos at naiinip siya.

"I said, be-gin." May diin na ang pagbigkas ng binata sa huling salita.

"I.. Err.. Uh.."

Inis na ibinaba ni Gray ang folder upang tingnan ang nagsalita. "Are you mute or—"

But the moment he laid his eyes on the person who was talking, Gray's mind went blank. Everything around him fell on silence. Everything got blurred but her. Her. Then the memories he had with her flashed in a second. He felt how his emotions suddenly mixed up in a real chaos. He felt how his heart beats so fast that he thought everyone in the room hears it. He felt how cold his hands became. God, he's fucked up!

Napaawang ang labi ng binata. Is this really happening? After seven years, after seven damn long years, she was there, looking directly at his eyes. Charmaine Laustsen, her long-time best friend, finally came back. What is he supposed to feel?

 

      "UNBELIEVABLE." Steward mumbled as he read the copy of the presentation document that Charmaine was probably presenting now. Napailing ang binata at napabuntong-hininga. "Fuckin' stupid." He whispered, referring to himself.

Just then he realized that the company he wanted to be business partners with was the company of Charmaine's best friend's twin brother—Silver Katsuwara. How stupid of him. Now he knows why Charmaine kept on asking him to back out. He frowned at the thought.

Steward Eisley in a business suit remained calm as he read the powerpoint presentation displayed on his latop with a coffee beside it that he bought in that coffee shop. He was there at the corner of the café, with his laptop on the table and numerous papers behind it. There were few customers which actually he felt relieved with. He doesn't like being in a very crowded place. And although some kept on glancing on his spot, at least, no one approaches him.

The guy ran his fingers through his hair. He was partly at fault as well. Never did he thought of asking Charmaine about her guy best friend. In seven years they've been together, hindi ni minsan nagtanong ang lalaki ng tungkol sa matalik nitong kaibigan, for he thought of her feelings. Alam niyang masakit pa rin dito ang ginawa niya—ang paglayo sa kaniya sa lalaking iyon. Hence, the only thing he knew about the guy was his first name was Gray and Charmaine and him had a one-night shit, as he call it. Of course, he did some research about that Gray-guy but that was only once and for heaven's sake, he did it seven years ago. He knew his full name was Grayforddon Cydhe Katsuwara, he had a huge technology business which makes him one of the business tycoons all over the world.

At ngayon, habang binabasa ang presentation ni Charmaine at ang continuation ng article tungkol kay Silver Katsuwara—ang businessman na tatanggap ng business proposal ng company nila—nalaman ni Steward na magkapatid ang dalawa. A twin to be exact! How stupid of him to don't recognize the similarities. They had the same 'Cydhe' in name, the same family name, the same kind of business which happens to be a technology and the same type of name—a color. At kung bakit ba naman kasi walang picture ang main article tungkol kay Silver o kahit man lang sa articles tungkol sa corporation nito?

Sumandal ang binata sa kaniyang upuan saka muling humigop ng kape nang hindi inaalis ang tingin sa article tungkol kay Silver Katsuwara at sa company nito na ni-release nine years ago kung saan, sa kauna-unahang beses, ay may nakita siyang picture—picture of the said businessman with his twin brother who was also building a name in business society—Gray Katsuwara.

Steward heaved a final long sigh. It must be fate who planned this. Are they really destined to be with each other? He shook a head. Is he supposed to let Charmaine now? The lad closed his eyes. I will if she asked me.

      GRAY did not remember any single thing on Charmaine's presentation. It finished after two hours and only the board members discussed the business proposal with Charmaine. Gray, who appears to be Silver, remained quiet the whole time. All he did was stare at her. He may look calm on the surface but hell, he feel extremely messed up.

He watched how Charmaine talked but not even a single word sinked into his mind. She was wearing a formal business woman suit that looks perfectly perfect on Gray's vision. Kulot na at blonde ang buhok nito hindi gaya ng huli nyang nakita—matuwid at maitim. She was also wearing light make-up that makes her more beautiful than ever. And gah, the way she moved, there were no longer trace of his boyish personality. Gustong mapailing ni Gray. He can perfectly say she's no longer a lady. She's now a beautiful woman.

"What do you think, Mr. Katsuwara?"

Naalis ang tingin ni Gray kay Charmaine nang magsalita ang isa sa mga business partner ni Silver. It was an old-aged woman with a sinister look. Agad naming sumagot ang binata. Parang no'n lang siya nakabalik sa reyalidad at mabuti nalang na nagawa niyang makasabay sa meeting.

“Well, the presentation has been well polished. Moreover, the targets and line ups of the plan looks persuasive particularly for the customers.” Aniya saka tumango-tango.

Muling nabaling naman ang atensyon ng panel sa iba pang nagsalita. Gray followed them one by one with a look but not really listening to anybody. And he can’t get off Charmaine on his focus. Kahit sa peripheral vision lang niya ito nakikita, mapasaan man ang tingin niya ay narito ang atensyon niya. At ni isang beses ay hindi niya ito nakitang lumingon sa direksyon niya.

Nang matapos ang board meeting, hindi gaya ng nakaugaliang maunang pag-alis, nagpaiwan si Gray sa loob ng conference room habang hinihintay si Charmaine na noo’y abala sa pagliligpit ng kaniyang mga ginamit para sa presentasyon. Sinadya rin ng binata na ipahalata rito ang mariin niyang pagtitig ngunit tila wala iyong epekto kay Charmaine dahil ni hindi niya makakitaan ng pagkailang.

Maybe she thinks I really am Silver?  Tanong niya sa sarili habang nakapatong ang siko sa arm rest ng inuupuang swivel chair. Sa kadahilanang si Charmaine ang pinakamalapit na tao sa anim na Katsuwara, hindi nga malayong hindi ito mailang kung si Silver ang kasama. Ngunit napailing si Gray upang kontrahin ang sariling utak. No, we’ve been together for half of our life. There’s no way she’d be confuse with Silver and I.

Napalingon bigla si Gray nang marinig ang pagsara ng pintuan ng conference room. Agad siyang napatayo nang mapagtantong naiwan na nga siyang mag-isa dahil nakalabas na si Charmaine! Ginulo niya ang sariling buhok saka nagmamadaling lumakad palabas para sundan ang dalaga.

“Char—ah, fuck. Miss Laustsen!”

Napalingon bigla sa kaniya ang mga guwardiya at ang sekretaryang hindi kalayuan sa lakas ng boses niya na sumabay sa nagmamadali niyang paglalakad. Mariing napapikit si Gray at saka umayos ng tindig. Nang muli niyang makita kung nasaan si Charmaine habang may kausap na businessman ay walang patumpik-tumpik na pinuntahan nito ang puwesto ng dalaga. Ngunit hindi pa siya nakalalapit ay nagsimula na namang maglakad si Charmaine. Panay ang mura ni Gray sa isipan dahil doon. Hindi niya naman magawang umakto bilang Gray dahil nasa kumpanya siya ng kakambal at kasalukuyang nagpapanggap bilang Silver. Kaya’t ang paghabol niyang ilang beses na naharangan ng kung sinu-sinong businessman at ilang mga empleyado ay umabot sa ibaba na ng gusali.

“Charmaine!”

Sa wakas, nagpang-abot rin sila. Nakatayo ang dalaga sa tapat ng waterfall at mukhang may hinihintay. Ngunit nang tawagin ay lumingon ito sa kaniya. Hinihingal man ay nagawa ng binata na lumapit agad rito. Nakatingin lamang naman sa kaniya si Charmaine—diretso sa kaniyang mga mata. Ni hindi nito iniwas o ibinaba ang tingin sa kabuuan niya. Huminga ng malalim si Gray na tila naghahanda.

“Charmaine.” Muli ay tawag niya.

Tinitigan siya ni Charmaine. Walang ekspresyon ngunit batid niya sa mga mata nito ang tila pagkamangha. Ilang segundo ang lumipas bago ito sumagot. “Gray...”

Napaawang niyon ang labi ng binata. Hindi Silver o Mr. Katsuwara—Gray, iyon ang itinawag nito sa kaniya. Nakilala siya nito! At sa marahang paraan ng pagsambit nito ng kaniyang pangalan, dama ni Gray ang pagkamangha, pagkasabit at pagkagulat. Parang doon siya nawalan ng sasabihin. Naubusan ng salita at napalunok. Ang tangi niyang nagawa ay salubungin ang namamanghang tingin ng dalaga. Hindi pa man nagtatagal ng minuto ay binawi nito ang tingin at ibinaling sa kaniyang likuran.

“Steward.”

Doon siya napalingon. Isang lambhorgini ang huminto sa tapat nila at iniluwa niyon ang isang matipunong lalaki sa business suit nito. Hindi kailangan ni Gray na palakarin rito ang tingin upang malamang tulad niya ay isang respetadong mangangalakal ang may lahing dayuhang kaharap. Na kay Charmaine ang tuon nito na mabilis naman siyang nilapitan. Nang makalapit rito ang dalaga ay saka lang binalingan ni Steward ng tingin si Gray.

“Mr. Katsuwara.” Anito saka naglahad ng kamay.

Hindi niya iyon kinuha kundi tinitigan lamang. Nagtiim ang bagang niya na bagay namang napansin ni Steward. Napangisi ito saka alanganing ibinaba ang kamay. Akmang magsasalita nang bumukas ang lambhorgini at lumabas naman ang isang batang babae.

“Mom? Mom, you’re taking too long.”

Tatlo silang napalingon sa batang babaeng edad halos anim o pito sa tantiya ni Gray. There was a sudden ache in his heart. The girl looked like Charmaine but what’s more painful is that the girl got Steward’s eye color. Napababa ng upo si Charmaine sa paglabas ng bata.

“Baby, go inside. Papasok na din kami, okay?” Ani Charmaine.

Niyakap ng batang babae ang hawak na teddy bear. “C’mon, we’ve been here way too long. My brother already fell asleep inside because you took so long.”

Brother? Gustong mapatango ni Gray. Kung ganoon ay may dalawa na. Ano pa nga bang laban niya? Napabuga siya ng hangin. Hindi rin naman nagtagal at napapasok nila ang bata. Saka siya muling nilingon ng dalawa. Hindi rin nakatakas sa paningin ni Gray ang pag-akbay ni Steward kay Charmaine.

“Mr. Katsuwara. We would like to excuse ourselves. It is a pain to meet you this informal but I look forward to have a proper conversation with you next time.” May respetong sabi ni Steward ngunit mababaw ang ipinakitang ngiti.

Tumikhim si Gray at sinulyapan si Charmaine. Nakatingin rin ito sa kaniya at ‘di gaya kanina ay nantatantiya ang tingin nito sa kaniya ngayon. Binalingang muli ni Gray si Steward. “Well, can I talk to Miss Laustsen alone?”

Napatigil ang dalawa. Saka ibinaba ni Steward ang tingin kay Charmaine na siya namang tumingala sa kaniya. Nag-usap silang dalawa sa tingin sa harap niya mismo. Hindi iyon nagtagal dahil humarap ulit si Steward sa kaniya.

“I’m afraid we are in a hurry for our personal reason, Mr. Katsuwara. Please excuse us.” Tipid itong ngumiti saka tumalikod nang nakaabay pa rin kay Charmaine. Pinagbuksan niya ito ng pinto at nang makasakay ay nilingon nitong muli si Gray, “And oh, she’s not a Laustsen anymore. Haven’t you read her proposal? She’s now Eisley. Charmaine Eisley.”

 

 

CHAPTER SEVEN

  MARIIN pa rin ang titig ni Gray sa basong hawak na naglalaman ng alak habang pinaiikot ito sa mesa. Marahan din niyang ibinabaling sa kaliwa’t kanan ang inuupuang swivel chair. Sa isang sulyap, masasabi ng sinuman na wala sa wisyo ang binata. Malayo ang iniisip at wala sa reyalidad.

  “Must be a pain.”

  Napatingala si Gray nang marinig ang pamilyar na boses. Nakita niya ang kakambal na inilapag naman ang isang folder sa harap niya saka naupo sa upuang katapat ng kaniya habang nananatili ang mapanuyang kislap sa mata nito. Mabilis na nagkunot ang noo ni Gray sa ekspresyon ni Silver. He always knew that kind of look. Not smirking and does not necessarily bear any kind of emotion yet his eyes have always been annoying.

  “What?” Asik ng nakababata.

  Silver shrugged his shoulder. “I’m pertaining to this upcoming versions we’re about to launch by the end of the month, brother.” Muli ay binigyan nito ng seryosong mukhang may mapanuyang kislap ng mata ang kakambal. “Don’t assume everything I spit is about Charm.”

  Naningkit ang mata ni Gray. “Charm?” May diin niyang tanong. He knew Silver was mocking him knowing he was the only one who call Charmaine Charm.

  Silver kept his expression dull and added, “Maine.”

  “Tss.” Sumiring si Gray saka hinila palapit sa mesa ang upuan. “All I have to do is sign this shit, ayt?”

  “Look who’s pissed.” Silver, unaffected of Gray’s annoyed tone snatched the glass of alcohol from Gray. Itinaas niya iyon, waring tinititigan ang laman. “Tell me, what do you get from drinking? What’s its use and every heartbroken seem to resort to this?”

  Gray threw his brother one sharp glance and continued signing. “We can throw them to some annoying fucktards disturbing our supposed to be personal space.”

  Ibinaba ni Silver ang baso saka sumandal sa upuan. “Nah-ah. You’re in your office. This is beyond personal space.”

  Ang katatapos namang magpirmang si Gray ay tinulak papunta kay Silver ang folder nang may matalim pa ring tingin. “You said it yourself, didn’t you? MY office. I have the right to rule. Now, get lost.”

  Silver with a triumphant smirk curved on his lips stood up and snatched the folder. “I’d let myself out of this one. But brother, might as well keep your glances sharp.”

  “What do you mean by that?” Tanong ni Gray.

  Itinaas ni Silver ang folder saka nagsimulang palakad paalis. “For me to keep and for you to find out. Got this already, ciao.”

  He sighed when he was left dumbfounded by his twin brother. Moreover, he sighed in relief regaining his personal space—as he call it. He sought for complete silence and solitude. He wasn’t necessarily needed in the office at that hour but he’s been stuck there idling since this morning.

  Sa lalim ng isip ay halos mapaigtad ang binata nang biglang tumunog ang kaniyang cell phone. Binigyan niya ito ng sulyap at nang makita ang pangalan ng bunso at nag-iisang babaeng kapatid ay kinuha na niya iyon para sagutin.

  “How’s your unit?” Unang bungad ni Gray nang masagot. As a graduation gift, he gave Violet a condominium unit which would be useful for her new independent life.

  [Ayos, kuya! Ang angas. Kaso mas magiging maangas sana ‘to kung babalakin mo man lang akong bisitahin]

  Hearing Violet’s still no feminine voice made the lad smile. Napasandal siya saka nakangiting sumagot. “And what have you prepared for me there?”

  [May bago akong lutong natutunan. At iniimbitahan ko kayo sa kainan mamayang 8pm para maging aking guinea pig!] Kasunod niyon ay ang barakong halakhak ng nasa kabilang linya.

  “Seriously.” Napapailing na sabi ni Gray. “Well, then. I’ll try to come.”

  [Huuuuh? Anong try-try? You must come, Kuya! Aasahan kita! Shot tayo—este kayo, woohoo! Bye!]

  Hindi na hinintay ni Violet ang tugon ng kapatid at tinapos ang tawag. Saka naman tiningnan ni Gray ang schedule, sa pagkakataong iyon ay may buong atensyon. Bigla siyang napatayo nang makita ang isang mahalagang dadaluhan na dalawampung minuto na lamang bago magsimula. Nagmamadali niyang kinuha ang cell phone at wallet saka hinablot ang nadaanang coat na nakasampay sa sofa ng office niya. He needed to attend at that launching party.

  Lucky was he, the venue was only a few buildings away from his. He with his secretary managed to get there on time. Saktong nagsisimula na ang pagpapakilala sa puno ng produktong inilabas sa mga bisita nang dumating siya. Katulad ng nakasanayan ay binanggit lamang ang pangalan niya ngunit hindi na siya nag-atubiling umakyat sa stage. Sa toast ay mabuting nakaabot siya.

  Parties were never his thing. He just needed to be there for the sole introduction and proper business approach especially for the product partners. It was already past seven in the evening and he’s been there for ten minutes. Sa kaniya sapat na iyon kaya’t napagpasyahan na niyang umalis.

  Hindi nga lang niya inaasahang isang tumatakbong bata ang biglang tumama sa kaniya at ang iniinom nito ay mabilis na tumapon sa kaniyang pantalon. Gray looked down on the kid who immediately stepped backward and stared at him. In his surprise, she was the kid who was with Charmaine last time. Thinking having Charmaine around immediately made his heart beat rapidly. Mabilis niyang inikot ang paningin sa hall, hinahanap ang babae saka naupo siya at inalalayan ang bata na tulad niya ay nabasa ng hawak nitong inumin.

  “You okay?”

  Ngunit imbes na sumagot ay nakatutuwang nanginang ang mata ng batang babae saka umaktong nagulat nang may ngiti sa labi.

  “I know youuu! You were the handsome guy before.”

  Gray unconsciously smiled. Inikot niyang muli ang tingin sa hall sa pag-aasam na makita ang hinahanap habang nakahawak pa rin sa balikat ng batang babae. Ilang sandali ay may narinig siyang pamilyar na tinig ngunit hindi iyon kay Charmaine.

  “Hey, hey, hey, kiddo!”

  Naalis ni Gray ang tingin sa bata at napalingon sa pinagmulan ng boses at nakita ang binatang mabilis na nakapagpadilim ng kaniyang ekspresyon—si Steward Eisley.

  “Oh.” Steward immediately slowed down upon seeing Gray. “You’re here.” He stated.

  As if an unconscious defense action, Gray quickly straightened and stood up. Hindi niya ito sinagot bagkus ay binigyan lamang ng mariing tingin dahilan upang mapagpasyahan ni Steward na maupo na lamang at ilebel ang sarili sa bata. Pinunasan nito ang basang damit ng bata at nang matapos ay kinarga niya ito saka hinarap ang nananatiling Gray Katsuwara.

  “Charmaine’s not here.” Hindi man tinatanong ay ipinahayag na ni Steward bagay na ikinakunot ng noo ni Gray na nagdulot ng paglilinaw ni Steward. “I am not just her business partner.”

  “Tss.” Unconsciously and out of habit, Gray looked away in an impolite manner. “No one’s asking.” Saka na siya tumalikod.

  “Katsuwara.” Tawag ni Steward nang akmang maglalakad na paalis si Gray. Huminto ang huli ngunit hindi lumingon. “Let’s have a talk over a cup of tea.” Steward added.

  Gray annoyingly snorted, letting Steward hear. “I am business affiliated only to Mrs. Eisley if I’m not mistaken so I reckon, we do not have the need to talk.” Nakapamulsang humarap si Gray. “And oh, emphasize Mister before my family name next time.”

  Dalawang segundong nakatitig lang si Steward kay Gray saka ito biglang humalakhak. That made Gray’s jaw tighter. Mabilis ding umarko ang kilay ng binata bago ito tinanong kung anong nakakatawa. Steward shook his head while chuckling and gestured his hand as if saying nothing.

  “I can’t believe you are very much—uh, how do I say it? Well, you made a fool out of yourself.”

  Lalong nagdilim ang ekspresyon ni Gray at akmang lalapitan na si Steward upang kwelyuhan nang umatras ng isang hakbang ang huli saka bahagyang iniharang ang kanang palad.

  “Oh, c’mon. You said it yourself. If it’s business affiliation, surely Charmaine should be the one having a conversation with you. But it’s no business, Katsuwara.”

  Hindi naman nagbago ang tingin ni Gray sa binata. Walang salita at nakakunot pa rin niya itong tinalikuran saka naglakad paalis nang hindi na hinintay pang magsalita muli si Steward. It was a little sly smile that formed on Steward’s lips on the other hand as he silently watched the guy walking away from him.

  TININGNAN muli ni Gray ang wrist watch at alanganing isinuklay ang kamay sa buhok. He was two hours late of Violet’s call time. She asked her to come at 8pm and because of the traffic—the fucking endless traffic, he arrived at rather 10. Gray already hears his sister nagging.

  Sa huli ay napagpasyahan pa rin niyang pindutin ang doorbell. Violet would at least consider him still coming even if late. It took him just about 10 seconds before the door was opened by someone. By a particular someone.

  “Charm..” He, surprised, uttered her name. Dalawang beses namang nag-iwas ng tingin ang tinawag, halata ang pagkailang.

  She was in a casual dress—something very unusual in Gray’s eyes. In his memory, Charmaine always wore loose shirts and pants. Naka-bun ang buhok nito at ang ilan ay bumabagsak na. They must have been bun for already hours. She was sweaty but that was more of an attractive trait for him. Add the fact that her face was flushed red. Ni hindi nagtagal ng dalawang segundo bago naamoy ni Gray ang partikular na aroma ng isang matapang na alak. His brows immediately furrowed.

  “Were you drinking?”

  Charmaine glanced at her back where the other visitors with Violet were having fun at its living room. That, as if, was a cue for Gray to be knocked off. Parang noon lang niya nadinig ang tawanan at kantyawan ng iba pang malalakas na boses sa loob. And apparently, his brothers were all there excluding Silver.

  Nang parehas naman na sila ni Charmaine na nakatingin sa loob, parang saka lang napansin ng iba ang presensya niya. Everyone shifted their gaze on their spot and it silenced the place. Charmaine, as if tired of it, lowered her grip from the door knob with a sigh.

  “Come in, I guess.” She told Gray so casually.

  Isang sulyap lang ang itinapon ni Gray kay Charmaine bago ito pumasok na. Si Violet naman ang sumunod na sumalubong sa kaniya. She was already tipsy. Para namang nagpupuyos na naman si Gray. But then again, he has already lost the right to reprimand her. She’s already allowed to after being 18 in accordance with their agreement before.

  “You didn’t tell me this would be a party, Violeta.” Gigil nalang niyang bulong sa kapatid nang makalapit ito.

  Violet giggled and whispered, “Ayieee, andito si ate Maine.” She completely ignored his annoyance.

  Pasiring nalang na inalis ni Gray ang tingin sa kapatid. Seeing Charmaine here, he’s became sure that this whole thing has been arranged by Violet. Sa huli ay dumiretso nalang siya sa kusina para tikman nga ang lutong sinasabi ng kapatid. It was tasty to his hungry stomach. Naglagay siya sa isang platito at bumalik sa kusina habang sumusubo.

  In his surprise, lagpas kalahati na ang nabawas sa orihinal na bilang ng tao sa sala. Natigil siya sa pagnguya nang makitang may apat na tao nalang at mukhang ang pang-apat na si Charmaine ay sinusubukan nang umalis na pinipigilan naman ni Violet.

  “Enlighten me.” Kunot-noong sabi niya nang may laman pa rin ang bibig.

  Neon who was still there answered. “Umuwi na sila tol. Kanina pa naman sila dito. Isa pa, lasing na yung iba.”

  Napangiwi si Gray at itinaas pa ang hawak na tinidor na may karne. “Right after I freaking arrived?”

  Red who was more drunk than Neon and can barely handle himself replied. “Alas otso pa kami dito, ano? VIP ka?” Kasabay nitong humagikhik si Violet at Neon.

  Gray simply frowned and muttered, “Bloody hell.”

  Hinatak na siya ni Violet papunta sa sala at pinaupo nang sapilitan gaya ni Charmaine. Makalat ang mesa at maraming kalat na damit at unan sa paligid. May mga chips nang nasa carpet at maraming likido sa babasaging mesa. Sa gitna ay ang alak na naamoy niya kay Charmaine.

  “Okay, let’s carry on with the game! Woohoo!” Neon yelled. Nakataas pa ang fist nito.

  “Wuhoo!” Red echoed.

  “What game?” Gray asked, confused.

  “Truth or drink.” Violet winked.

  Ang lasing namang si Red ay liliyo-liyong inilapit ang mukha sa kaharap na si Gray saka nang may mapungay nang mata ay sinabi nang nakangiti.

  “Bro, kanina pa namin tinatanong si Maine pero kakaiba! Puro drink ang pinipili.” He giggled.

  Humagikhik din si Neon saka pailing-pailing na nagsalita habang hawak ang baso. “Look how she’s been blushing!”

  Violet joined the laughter of his also drunk brothers. Dahil alam niyang wala na sa mga wisyo ito, napailing na lamang si Gray. Nilingon niya si Charmaine na mapungay na rin ang mata at hindi pa rin nawawala ang pamumula. She wasn’t looking at him but to Violet.

  “Violet, I really need to go.”

  Violet pouted. “Ba’t naman, ate? Ginagawa naman natin ‘to dati diba?”

  Ginatungan naman iyon ng dalawa pang lalaki.

  “Yeah, tagal na nun, Maine.”

  “Ngayon nalang ulit tayo nagkita oh.”

  Halata naman ang hindi na pagiging komportable ni Charmaine. Tuloy tuloy pa rin ang pagsasalita ng tatlo at para patigilin ang mga ito ay medyo naatasan niya ang sariling boses.

  “Look, I’ve got children now.”

  That silenced the three. Saka ito sabay-sabay na sumulyap kay Gray. Annoyed, Gray gave them his most furrowed eyebrows.

  “Violet, you have Kento. Red, you have IRA and Neon, you have Kaelynn.” Inisa-isang tingnan ni Charmaine ang tatlo. “Think of that and I’m telling you, having two young children is much more demanding of time. Okay?” In her eyes, they knew she doesn’t want them offended. She wants them to understand.

  Nanatiling tahimik naman sila hanggang si Gray na ang nagpasyang tumayo at basagin ang katahimikan. After all, he has already red the kind of game his siblings are trying to play. This childish truth or drink.

  “Right.” Nabaling sakaniya ang tingin ng tatlo. “She’s got family, ‘kay. I’ll escort her out.”

  Walang reklamo. Narinig ni Gray ang mahinang pagbulong ni Charmaine ng pasasalamat. Nilingon niya ito at sa tingin lang ay inaya na itong lumabas. He knew she’s uncomfortable of him still. Kaya nauna na siyang lumabas.

  Hinintay ni Gray si Charmaine na kolektahin ang mga gamit nito sa loob sa labas ng pinto. Nang makalabas ang babae ay napansin agad ni Gray na pagewang-gewang na itong maglakad. Mabilis niya itong nilapitan para alalayan kasabay ng pagkuha dito ang dala nitong bag.

  It was so silent. They were both silent all the way to the corridor. Add the fact that they were that near to each other. Tanging ang mabilis na pagtibok lang ng puso niya ang naririnig ni Gray at ang maya't mayang pagsinok ni Charmaine.

  “Say..” Nagulat nalang ang binata nang bigla itong magsalita nang nasa elevator na sila. Nilingon niya ito. “If this would be the last time we’ll ever meet, what would you say?” Mababa na ang boses nito at halata ang pagiging lasing.

  If that was out of being drunk or not, it didn’t matter. Mabilis na kumurap-kurap si Gray. He then asked her what matters. “Charmaine, are you again leaving?”

  Itinaas ni Charmaine ang tingin kay Gray na nakaalalay pa rin sa kaniya. Mapungay na ang mata niya at halata rito na gusto na nitong pumikit. Hindi rin nakatakas sa paningin ni Gray ang parami nang paraming butil ng pawis sa noo nito. He started worrying.

  “Are you okay?” Imbes na pagilid lang ay paharap nang inalalayan ni Gray si Charmaine. Mukhang anumang minuto ay matutumba na ito.

  “No.. I-I’ve been tired.. Tired waiting for that time..”

  Confused was he, the lad had no chance to ask. Because as he anticipated, the lady lost her consciousness. That made Gray silently curse. And this kind of thing, there’s no way he would want to hand her over to that stupidly annoying Steward. Nor bring her to his unit. So, Violet’s unit’s the only thing that popped up on his mind.

  “Oh, Kuya? Ba’t napabalik ka?”

  Inaantok na si Violet nang pagbuksan siya ng pinto. Gray discarded the thought of his sister and carried the heavy Charmaine to Violet’s guest room. Nadaanan pa niya sa sala ang tulog-mantikang sina Neon at Red. Nang mapansin ang karga niyang si Charmaine, medyo nawala ang antok ni Violet at sinundan ang kapatid sa guest room.

  “Anong nangyari, Kuya?”

  “I don’t know, she just suddenly fainted. When we’re in elevator, you see. Must still not used to alcohol.” Anang Gray habang inaayos ang pagkakahiga ni Charmaine at ang kumot nito.

  Napatangu-tango naman si Violet saka inaantok na napahawak sa mukhang sumasakit na ulo. “Well, then. Kabisado mo ang unit ko, Kuya. Ikaw nang bahala, matutulog na ako.” Hindi na nito hinintay ang sagot niya at lumabas na nang kwarto para matulog sa sarili nito.

  Gray combed his hair. “Geez.”

  Sa huling pagkakataon ay inayos niya ang kumot ni Charmaine. Habang ginagawa ay bigla itong nagsalita, may tinatawag na pangalan.

  “Steward.. Steward...”

  Bahagyang napahinto sa pag-aayos ng kumot si Gray at napatitig sa mamula-mulang mukha ng kababata. Is she having a dream? A nightmare? Either way, hearing her calling other guy’s name in her unconscious state is painful with him around. Wala siyang nagawa kundi bumuntong-hininga saka tumayo. Akmang paalis na siya nang magbago ang sinasambit nito.

  “The children.. Steward.. take.. care.. Ash and.. Charrie.. even if.. they’re Gray’s..”

  Ash...

  Ash and Charrie...

  Their names!

  With his loud and anxious heart beat, mabilis na lumapit si Gray kay Charmaine at inilapit rito ang mukha. He was just about to wake him up with trembling hands and anxious eye blinking when her eyes slowly opened, meeting his. They were only a few inches from each other and surely, his heavy nervous breathing was heard even when he asked. The question that could almost stop his heart.

  “Charmaine, C-Charm.. Are they mine? Are they my children..? Ash and Charrie? Tell me..”

 

 

CHAPTER EIGHT

  Miss Charmaine Rose Eisley.

  Of all times to let himself be driven by emotion and be stunned by Charmaine’s presence, their first meeting on Silver’s very conference room was the most stupid. How could he miss such an important detail? It was never Mrs! It was Miss!

  Steward emphasized only the change of Charmaine’s surname. Silver indirectly told him to check it out. He was just too mad and preoccupied by his extreme emotions enough to be dense of these matters.

  Nevertheless, the smile curved on Gray’s face has never been erased until he laid down the folder on his desk which contains the most recent updates and information regarding Charmaine Rose Eisley. Oh, right. He kept nodding. Charmaine’s always been in an orphanage, just adopted by the Eisleys in their primary years and then, Steward... Steward who must be her biological brother found her seven years ago.

  ‘Ash and Charrie..’

  Muli siyang napangiti. There’s no way the children were Steward’s. Well, unless they are into incest relationship which he doubts. From the man he hired, Gray obtained a couple of photos of the kids. And in just a single glance, the girl and the boy were a twin. Beautiful.

  Ngayon, wala na siyang balak na hayaan ang relasyon nila ni Charmaine sa ganoong estado. That night, when Charmaine kept her silence, Gray didn’t even need to ask her twice. Her eyes were clearer than a crystal. Isang ngiti lang ang ibinigay niya sa dalaga bago ito marahang ginawaran ng halik sa noo, bagay na nagpasinghap rito.

  Gray slept in Violet’s unit’s living room, unfortunately with his brothers Neon and Red who kept snoring the whole night. That miraculously didn’t annoy him though. Ni hindi siya makatulog.

  Kinabukasan, maaga pa lamang ay nauna na siyang tumayo. May munting ngiti sa labing dumiretso ng kusina at nagsimulang magtimpla ng mainit na tsokolate, sa dalawang baso. Para kay Charmaine at sa kaniya. He also made a few pieces of hot cakes. Just then someone entered the kitchen. Nilingon niya ito at napangiti nang makita ang pinaghahandaan. Mukhang inaantok at hawak ang tila masakit na ulo.

  “For seven years, you still look the same to me.” Bungad niya.

  Parang noon lang naman napansin ni Charmaine ang presensya niya at gulat siyang tiningnan. Ngumiti ulit si Gray at dinagdag habang itinuturo ang kulot at medyo magulo niyang buhok gamit ang hawak na sandok,

  “Though the hairstyle and clothing did great on you.”

  Hindi sumagot si Charmaine at inikot ang tingin sa kitchen. Parang inaalala pa ang anumang mayroon ng nakaraang gabi. She then bit her lower lip. Itinulak naman ni Gray ang inihandang kupita at platito ng hot cake papunta kay Charmaine.

  “Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin?” Gray asked without looking at her, he was wiping the stove.

  Charmaine apparently decided to sit on a stool and take what he offered. She sipped once and voiced, “What do you think of a shirt?”

  “Oh.” Gray lowered his look on his body. Oo nga pala at tanging ang kulay lilang apron lang ang suot niya maliban sa pantalon. “Right.” Tumalikod siya para kunin ang shirt na nakasabit sa ref. “I wouldn’t mind with you around though.” He whispered.

  Lingid sa kaalaman niya ang munting ngiting sumilay sa labi ni Charmaine nang tumalikod siya at marahang ibinulong iyon sa hangin.

  Pagharap ni Gray, nang akma na niyang ibabalik ang usapan ukol sa kambal ay saka naman biglang pumasok ang humahalakhak na sina Neon at Red. Sabay silang napalingon doon ni Charmaine. Nang makita silang dalawa ay medyo napaatras naman sina Neon at Red saka nag, “whoa”. Pero sa huli ay tumuloy at walang habas na kumuha ng tig-isang piraso sa nilutong hotcake ni Gray. Halos maging guhit naman ang mata ng nairitang huli.

  “MR. KATSUWARA, you have successfully obtained an appointment with Mr. Steward Eisley today at 12nn of Bon Appetea.”

  Nabalik sa reyalidad ang wisyo ni Gray nang marinig ang boses ng sekretarya sa teleponong kumukonekta sa kanila. Agad niyang tiningnan ang wrist watch at nalamang may tatlumpung minuto nalang bago ang appointment. He couldn’t wait. Tumayo na siya at kinuha ang coat na nasa swivel chair saka iniwan ang opisina para mauna sa usapan.

  Sa pagbabago ng mga bagay, nawala ang iritang nararamdaman ni Gray kay Steward. He’s her brother. Before everything else, gusto niya itong makausap. To begin with, he himself is also a brother to someone.

  Kaso mukhang bumabalik ang pagkairita niya rito nang alas dos na ay hindi pa rin ito dumadating. Tuloy, nang makarating ito matapos ang dalawang oras niyang paghihintay at sa mas ikinaasim pa ng mukha niya ay may mapanuya itong ngisi, hindi na niya ito binati nang maayos gaya ng pinaplano. Bagkus ay purong sarkasmo ang lumabas sa bibig niya.

  “What are you, a girl?”

  In his annoyance, Steward bursted out in laughter—as if annoying him more than ever. Wala siyang magawa kundi ang sumiring. Umupo ito sa silyang katapat ng kaniya at nang may hindi pa din nabuburang ngisi ay naunang magsalita.

  “I think it’s fair to make you wait after you stupidly turn me down the last time.”

  Gray’s eyebrows automatically furrowed hearing the word ‘stupid’ from him, worse directly pertaining to him. But then again, siya ang may pangangailangan sa kanila. If this was a normal business appointment, he would simply shove him off and turn whatever the proposal is. Pero si Charmaine ang pinag-uusapan dito.

  “Thank yourself for being Charm’s brother.” He retorted.

  “Oh-hoho!” Steward, amused. “You’re not as stupid as I thought you were. You finally figured it out.”

  As much as he hates it, he himself find him very much stupid for that point. Mas ikinairita lang niyang marinig ito sa binata. God, how he want to punch his smirking face right now. Binabawi na niya ang deklarasyong nawala ang inis niya rito.

  “So, what do we have here?”

  “You asked me to stay last time, saying you have something to say about Charm.”

  “I’m sure you have the same reason now.”

  “I’ll take her back. After learning you’re not married.”

  “Blimey. Do I look like a perverted incest brother to you?”

  “Yes.” Mabilis at seryosong sagot ni Gray.

  At last, nabura ang mapanuyang ngisi sa labi ni Steward na kanina pa kinaiinisan ni Gray dahil doon. That was his turn to smirk. Naningkit naman ang mata ni Steward at lalong nagkunot ang noo.

  “Are you sure you should be acting up to Charmaine’s brother?”

  “Tss. Pathetic shield.”

  Kunot-noo nilang tiningnan ang isa’t isa at dumaan ang limang segundo ng katahimikan bago sila sabay na napahalakhak sa katawa-tawa at isip-bata nilang bangayan. They were rather suddenly comfortable, in annoying way they both appear to each other. Hindi rin naman nagtagal bago sila nagseryoso at si Steward ang naunang nagsalita.

  “Actually, that’s the same thing I want to ask you to do the last time. But before that, listen to me.” He paused. “To Charmaine’s brother.”

 

   “MISTER, you’re here!” Her eyes were twinkling.

  “Don’t tawk to strangers, Charrie.” Masungit na lumapit naman ang isang batang lalaki at hinila ang batang babae.

  “He’s not a stranger, Ash. I saw him tawk to mummy befowr.” Charrie trying to get off of Ash’s grip.

  Ngumiti si Gray habang pinapanood mag-usap ang kambal gamit ang maliliit nilang boses. Seeing them moves his heart in a way he never felt before. Or did he. They are identical. Except for the eyes. Charrie inherited Steward’s eye while Ash had his. Umupo siya at inilevel ang sarili sa dalawang bata na patuloy pa rin sa pagbabangayan habang hawak ang sari-sarili nilang school bag.

  “Look, you’ve gawt the same eyes, Ashie.” Biglang binago ni Charrie ang usapan at itinuro kay Ash ang mga mata ni Gray.

  Kunot-noo namang nilingon ni Ash ang ginoo. The child was stunned seeing his reflection on the gray eyes the man had who happened to be his biological father without his knowledge. The father and son were intently staring at each other’s eyes which bear the same color when one loud clap interrupted them.

  “Ole, ole. Very touching, yes. Now, shall we go?”

  Napalingon ang mag-aama sa pinagmulan ng boses at mabilis na sumimangot si Gray nang makita si Steward na nakangisi na naman. If only he knew where is his children’s school, he wouldn’t ask the guy to come. He’s more annoying than combined Red and Neon.

  Gaya ng gusto niya ay nasundo na nga nilang dalawa ang kambal. This is his first step to regain Charmaine. Dinala niya ang kambal sa isang restaurant at inutusan si Steward na umorder na kung hindi pa niya natalo sa isang maikling argumento ay hindi susunod.

  Pinaalis rin niya agad ito matapos kunin ang pribadong numero ni Charmaine. Good God the guy knew the term family privacy. Nang makaalis ang lalaki ay hindi naman nagreklamo ang kambal. Mukhang nakuha na niya ang tiwala ng mga ito matapos silang ipagkatiwala sa kaniya ng tiyuhin. Ash was silently licking his ice cream while Charrie has been talking to him. Nakangiti naman niya itong sinasagot habang hinihintay na dumating si Charmaine matapos itong itext na kinidnap ang dalawang anak. What a pathetic rendezvous for that kind of thing though, a restaurant.

  Akala ni Gray ay buong oras na hindi magsasalita ang ayon kay Charrie ay nakakatandang si Ash nang bigla itong sumingit sa usapan nang mabaling kay Charmaine at sa buhay nila sa America ang pagtatanong niya. Huminto ito sa pagkain at kunot-noo siyang tinanong.

  “Awr you a bad guy?”

  Napalingon din si Charrie sa kapatid.

  “How would I be a bad guy?” Nakangiti at mahinanong tanong ni Gray.

  “Yow’ve been asking about mum. Awr you planning something to her?” Hindi nito hinintay ang sagot niya at nilingon si Charrie. “Charrie, stop cawrelessly spitting out infowrmation about mum.”

  Ang napagalitan namang si Charrie ay nakangusong yumuko. Sa ganoon palang ay halata nang may kakayahan si Ash na pasunurin ang makulit at madaldal na kapatid.

  Napataas naman ang dalawang kilay ni Gray habang tinititigan ang dalawang anak. Amused was he, a chuckle echoed in their table. For pete’s sake, he’s in front of a mere seven year old kid! Mas lalong kumunot dahil don ang noo ni Ash pero hindi iyon pinansin ni Gray. Ginulo niya ang buhok ng bata at nakangiting inilapit rito ang mukha.

  “I’m no bad, attaboy. I’m your mom’s knight.” He winked. Tatawa-tawa pa rin siyang lumayo rito.

  “Minana niya sayo.”

  Napalingon siyang bigla sa likuran nang marinig ang boses ng hinihintay. Bigla ring bumaba ang kambal at sabik na tumakbo papunta sa ina kasabay ng pagtawag dito. Mabilis namang napatayo si Gray sa upuan at nilapitan ito.

  “Charm.” Tawag niya dito, nakangiti.

  But Charmaine wasn’t smiling. Seryoso siya nitong tinitigan. “So, you even knew their schools.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Steward told you.”

  “I thought it’s hopeless.”

  Iniwas ni Charmaine ang tingin at malamig na sinabi, “Wag mo na uling gagawin ‘to.”

  “I reckon I have the right, Charm.”

  Hindi sumagot si Charmaine. Tinitigan lang niya si Gray saka ito tinalikuran at hinila paalis ang dalawang anak. Gray wanted to come after her, after them. But the look on Charmaine’s eyes were clear. He knew that wasn’t a very appropriate timing.

  THAT was not the only time when Gray made something to take steps closer to Charmaine. To fill the gaps he has carelessly created. To regain the seven years they lost. He tried. Lots.

  Sinusundo niya ito sa opisina pero madalas naman siya nitong nalulusutan. He cannot afford to meddle with her business and mess up her works. Ilang beses na rin niya itong pinuntahan sa sariling bahay. He serenade her, did what a high school teenager boy would do to win her back. He got help from his siblings, from Steward and from his very children. Gray even tried to force her to come to a date with him. He was desperate. But none worked. There might have been glitter of emotions on her eyes at times but she consistently refused him. She never fails to do so.

  Gray got no idea what’s going on. Steward told him he has the chance. He stand. Pero bakit ganito? Hindi niya maintindihan. Ni hindi niya mabasa si Charmaine. He started doubting. Is he really trying to win her over? Or he’s just completely annoying her? Nevertheless, at least for their children.

  Malungkot ang mga matang tinitingala ni Gray ang nagliliparang bula sa madilim na kalangitan. It was seven in the evening and that part of the beach was very cold and silent. Somewhat calms him. Bumuntong-hininga siya. It’s the 30th day since he’s started trying. And apparently the last day he gets the chance to win Charmaine.

  Steward told him. They talked. He gave him a month. To have her. After that, not because of his wish but because the circumstances say so, Charmaine will be forever beyond him. And their children might be again lost in his hands.

  “Gray.”

  Napalingon si Gray sa likuran at nakita si Steward.

  “Everything’s ready.”

  Isang maikling tango lang ang ibinigay niya rito. Saka sila sabay na pumunta sa unahan ng dalampasigan. Kung saan hinanda niya ang lahat. It’s his last resort. He can try after this, Steward says. Pero magiging malabo na.

  Naghintay silang lahat ng sampung minuto bago sumenyas si Blue na nasa unahan nila na paparating na ang hinihintay, ang taong pinaghandaan niya ng planong iyon. So, then, Gray stepped forward. On the middle of the sand, amidst the darkness of the night, along the breeze of the ocean.

  “Steward? Steward?!”

  Narinig na niya ang boses ni Charmaine sa hindi kalayuan. Dahil sa madilim na dalampasigan at anino ng tent malapit sa kaniyang tumatakip sa kaniyang bulto ay hindi pa rin siya nakikita ni Charmaine. But he could already hear his rapid heart beat, like it’ll explode any moment from now. So, this is what it feels like.

  Pumikit siya. Sinusubukang huminga ng maayos sa kabila ng malakas na tibok ng puso bunga ng halu-halong emosyon. Napadilat nalang siya bigla nang nagsimulang tumugtog ang malumanay na ritmo ng isang piano piece na tinutugtog ni Silver mula sa tent. Kasunod niyon ay ang pagbukas ni Red ng mga ilaw sa paligid. Ang mga artificial candle na nagsisilbing daan papunta kay Gray na sinamahan ng mga artipisyal na bulaklak.

  That’s when Charmaine slowed down, recognizing the man standing a few meters away from him. The man in tuxedo. The man she would recognize even a kilometer away, even a decade after.

  Violet started blowing the machines for the bubbles, filling the place and making the ambiance more magical. Ang puting kurtinang inayos nilang dalawa ni Chaisee na katabi ng matataas na base ng mga pulang rosas na nagsisilbing haligi ng kulay pulang carpet na kinatatayuan ni Gray ay biglang nailawan ng isang projector.

  Neon, on the tent arranging for the projecting, started the slideshow with a few photos. Charmaine and Gray’s youngest photo together, their photo on kindergarten, when they first joined the soccer team, during their elementary graduation, their high school and all the photos way up to their last photo together. Gray’s birthday eight years ago.

  Matapos ang mga litrato, nang magsimulang magpatuloy sa paglalakad si Charmaine papunta kay Gray, huminto ang piano ni Silver at nagsimulang magplay ang mga videos ng magkababata na maiging itinago ni Gray sa mga nakalipas na taon. Ang nagsilbing background music nito ay ang Out Of My League ng Stephen Speaks na napaiibabawan ng kaniyang voiced message.

  ‘Charmaine. Or should I call you Charm? My Charm. My lucky gem. It’s ironic to say, I don’t know how to start...’

  In everybody’s surprise while watching inside the tent, dahan-dahang tumulo ang mga luha sa mata ni Charmaine nang marinig ang mensahe ni Gray sa boses nito habang pinapanood ang mga video nila. Ang mga simpleng paglalaro, ang aktibidad sa eskwelahan, ang mga kaarawang sabay nilang icinelebrate, ang mga travel.. lahat. Habang sinasabi ni Gray kung paano siya kahit noon nalilito sa salitang ‘pag-ibig’ sa pagitan niya at ni Chaisee. He never wanted to break the friendship he built with her. Coward was he, he kept his feelings hidden, letting infatuation arise for Chaisee. And then he confesses the realization she gave him after her departure seven years ago, how the previous years silently tortured him from the inside.

  Nagtapos ang mensahe ni Gray sa isang emosyonal na, ‘please listen’. Dahil pagkatapos non, nagsimulang maglakad ang binata at dahan-dahang humakbang para salubungin ang kinikilalang reyna. Gamit ang mic ay muli niyang ipinagpatuloy ang naudlot na mensahe.

  “Charmaine, I can never measure the love I have for you. Because it’s so huge, so enormous. To the extent that I.. I wanted to respect what kind of happiness I assumed you had. To the extent that I’ve been mad, lone, desperate and at last, clear. And to the extent.. T-To the extent.. that I can be willing to l-let you go, no matter how it would pain me, if after all these, I do not mean to you but a mere stranger to shove.”

  Sa huli ay nakalapit na si Gray kaya’t pinagpasyahan na niyang ibaba ang mikropono. Huminto naman na si Charmaine sa paglalakad pero ni hindi bumabagal ang sunud-sunod na pagluha ng mga mata niya. Gray, however sniffing, tried to kept his tears by biting his lower lip. He held her by his shoulder and with all the emotions he feels and kept, he planted one soft kiss on his forehead. Hindi na niya inilayo rito ang mukha bagkus ay idinikit sa tungki ng ilong nito ang kaniya.

  “Just remember, whatever choice you’ll pick, I always..” Marahan siyang pumikit at doon tumulo ang luha sa magkabila niyang mata. Lumunok siya ng isang beses at nang may halos basag na tinig ay nagpatuloy, “..always love you. Always..”

  Lumayo siya rito saka ito nginitian. Gamit ang knuckle ng hintuturo ay pinunasan ng lalaki ang luha saka dahan-dahang lumuhod sa harap ni Charmaine. Muling tumugtog ng pyesa si Silver sa piano, isang mabagal at malumanay. Nagsimula namang mahulog ang mga petals mula kina Chaisee at Blue.

  “Charmaine Rose Eisley, will you still let me into your life and never let go of me again as I hold of you until my last breath?”

  Charmaine was already sobbing. Hindi niya mapigilan ang mga luha sa mata. Nagsimula siyang punasan ang pisngi pero hindi niya iyon napatuyo. Her cry was becoming loud and she started shaking her head. And Gray was recognizing her answer from that cry. Napalunok siya at kahit walang luha ay puno ng lungkot niyang inakmang itatago na ang singsing nang biglang bumagsak si Charmaine sa harap niya’t napaluhod, tuloy pa rin sa pag-iyak.

  Hinawakan niya ito sa balikat at sinimulang ialo ang likod. “Sshh. Sshhh. It’s fine. It’s fine..” Paulit-ulit niyang sabi.

  Pero hindi pa rin tumitigil si Charmaine. Umiiyak pa rin ito. Lungkot, sakit, hindi na niya malaman. Pero tinanggal na nito ang mga kamay na pumupunas sa pisngi at nang may namumulang mga mata ay tinitigan si Gray.

  “Gray, did you really think I am that unfair? That I.. That I.. don’t love you enough to forgive you? To want to live you? To desire a family with you?” Yumuko siya at patuloy pa rin sa paghagulhol na umiling-iling. “No, Gray.. N-No.. I’ve wished every single thing you’re asking.. I did, Gray.. I-I really really really did..”

  Muling itinaas ni Charmaine ang tingin sa binata. “Didn’t Steward tell you?” Hinawakan ni Charmaine ang kamay ng kaharap gamit ang dalawang kamay. “Gray, I’m dying.”

  And everything in his ears went off.

 

 

EPILOGUE

  Charmaine Rose Eisley Katsuwara.

  He always smile every time he encounter the name. The rainbow of his life. And even if the years pass and all the roses wither as the time steal their lives, Gray would never regret having the kind of love he experienced with her.

  “Grandpa, why do you always bring rose here?”

  Gray lowered his look at the seven year old kid beside him. He’s at his age when he first met her. Nginitian lang niya ito bago naman ito binuhat ni Ash para dalhin sa asawa. Charrie on the other hand stayed with Gray and laid her head on her beloved father’s head.

  “Ironic, isn’t it, Dad?” She said with a smile. “Ash and I met the world with her yet it’s you we experienced it with.”

  Tiningala naman ni Gray ang kalangitan saka may ngiti sa labing sumagot. “Charrie, I don’t think it’s me you’re going to meet its end with. Not with only a few days remaining for me.”

  “Dad naman! Ba’t naman ganiyan ka magsalita?” Ngumuso si Charrie. That’s her habit she never can remove.

  Ngumiti lang si Gray saka ipinadaan sa lapida ang mga daliri niya. There written his beloved’s name. It’s been so long that he already forgot to count the years. Yet her face remains as clear as crystal in his head. If there’s something he would never want erased in it, it’s her smile.

  A year.

  They only had a month. She was diagnosed an acute disease. And within the 30 days Steward gave him, sinubukan nito na huwag ipatuloy kay Charmaine ang operasyon na may 30-70 lamang na success rate at naka-schedule sa araw pagkatapos sana ng ika-30'ng subok ni Gray. It was an incurable disease and no matter how painful it would have to be for Steward, his sister’s death is yet to come. Hindi niya gustong pabilisin iyon sa isang operasyon at sa tulong ni Gray ay nakumbinsi niya itong itigil.

  But her life only lasted for a year. Actually longer than her doctors anticipated. That year has been spent quiet beautifully as Gray would tell it. It was more than enough for him. The three hundred and sixty-five of days were a treasure for life. They got married, enjoyed a family and had the life they dreamed of. With no happily ever after by the end of it.

  Pero ngayon, matapos ang ilang taon, sa harap ng lapida ng yumaong minamahal, nakangiti si Gray habang paulit-ulit na pinadadaan sa pangalan ng asawa ang mga daliri. He can feel the candle of his life slowly fading. And he’s ready. More than ready to come. Even happy about it.

  Nilingon niya ang dalawang anak na nasa magkabilang carpet kasama ng kani-kaniyang pamilya. I succeeded fulfilling your wishes, Charm. Their children had the family both he and her wished for them. He can finally leave.

  Muli siyang tumingala sa asul at maliwanag na kalangitan saka nakapikit na dinama ang simoy ng hangin na yaring yumayapos sa kaniyang kulubot na kaanyuan.

  ‘We can finally be reunited..’

FIN.