Just A Piece Of Thought
sun was at its peak that afternoon i met her gaze the moment she stepped inside that isolated base. pair of blue orbs she owned, still shone despite of her late age not so far from mine. she was never familiar—a stranger in my aged eyes. yet one pleasant smile from those thin pale lips sent warm down to my heart that somehow felt like ice. there was always a flicker of nostalgia that sprang in my chest yet even i had no idea why. i do not know this old woman yet there was something in her that introduces my fragile and holed heart to love at this very late of age.
for some reason, i have always felt this fearful death upon my fading life. and so, i push away those who surround my vulnerable and incapable physical body. yet this old woman stayed; tears drowning her eyes every moment she rushed to me when i am on the floor puking, when i am fighting the urge to end this miserable life and when i struggle at the simple pattern of breathing.
a month has been spent with her touches and care that turned my ever lonely house into a vividly vibrant home just across the blue water of the sea witnessing the picturesque of every golden sunset. it was then waking up felt glorious in that morning so sunny yet somehow, i didn't hate the rise of the majestic sun peaking through the window of my room. until a young lad in his unfamiliar white coat and a case housing capsules and syringe entered my place. the old woman whose name is never even remembered by my mind greeted him with a smile curved in her pale dull lips i always found the sweetest.
i couldn’t understand anything—rather i did not pay attention for i was disinterested with everything but the beautiful lines in the old woman's eyes, the few black strands in her that looked so perfect in her hair colored gray and the way her lips moved when she speaks making any word sound so soft and gentle. hence, it has taken me aback when amidst conversation, i watched her again shed her tears after a glance at my vulnerable state in the wheelchair she had always pushed to take care of this useless old man. there, again, i felt such deep melancholy in my chest yet no reason can ever be formulated in this clueless bald head.
later on when the lad left, wasting no time through the sobs she desperately tried to suppress, i felt the urge to do what she's always done. something that over the past month made living despite of an atrocious fate from above bearable through the new colors she helps me see and the music that's her voice when she speaks to me—one weak but warm hug with my trembling wrinkled skin. her sobbing stopped. i found myself hoping and wondering if it eases her and was relieved when she laid her gaze upon me with eyes depicting strong awe and pity—i wonder why.
there again her words for me. and there again my rapid heartbeat triggered by that one simple line she utters as the pupils in her blue magnetic eyes dilated. i wonder why. i am certain i have never met her until a month ago. yet she always said i was the one who captured her heart decades ago—when our skin were not yet aged, when our forehead had no trace of lines, when our time haven’t stolen yet the memories of past. i wonder why. i do not know her yet her presence filled the emptiness inside of me and her mere existence made me feel like i'm forever home; always safe and never in danger. i wonder why. just then a tear fell from my eye. i do not remember the memories she reminisce, i do not even remember her name. yet consistently, she says she loves me.